#and also because i am so nerdy about outlines

[alpaca-clouds]

Dungeons & Dragons - Or: Why Capitalism Sucks at Making Money

If this past year managed anything, it managed to get me really into DnD. Before I did not play DnD much, rather going with Shadowrun or (heavily homebrewed) World of Darkness. But with first Honor Among Thieves releasing - and then Baldur's Gate 3 giving me brainworms tadpoles... Yeah, hurray. New hyperfixation unlocked.

But as I started to read through all the lore, but also meta stuff happening around it. And yes, I quickly understood why basically everyone was frustrated with Hasbro and Wizards of the Coast. But I also think, that this betrays one of the big issues with capitalist logic and how it often fails to reach an audience - for the reason I outlined before: capitalists are actually super bad at realizing what works and why, because they only judge based on spread sheets.

And yes, the headline is hyperbolic. But let me explain.

A Community-Based Game

I mean, the biggest scandal of DnD this year was probably the entire thing about the community license. And this is very much something that shows quite well, how bad WotC is at recognizing why DnD works and has worked so long.

DnD centrally has been build around this idea of community. Now, mind you: This community was very, very focused on cis white guys for the longest time, but everybody else just managed to get in there and make their own little bit of community. Which also lead to a lot of homebrew stuff, that at times tackled some issues that the rules themselves did not address at all or not well. The combat wheelchair is probably the best known example of this.

But even outside of marginalized communities... DnD always thrived through the community aspect itself. People self-publishing magazines and adventures for it since the fucking 70s. As well as play sets, dice and what-have-you. DnD was always very much about all this and thrived through it. And now in came WotC saying: "Oh, yeah, actually you will now have to give us a big cut. (The big irony was, how Unity made the same move later on.) The fandom outcry was obviously big, there was a boycot, it worked. And WotC went all:

Of course they basically won the world competition in backpaddling (though again, Unity was a big contender this year as well) and quickly went back on this. But of course there is a problem: When your entire product is so much build around community and your community starts mistrusting you, you got a problem.

And this is basically what happened.

The Audience Problem

There is another problem of course. Financially the DnD movie failed - and I actually think this says a lot about how WotC kinda misunderstands the audience.

Now, there will be people trying to tell you, that given that the movie had great reviews and stuff. But the movie had a production budget of 150 million USD and only earned a bit more than 200 million on worldwide box office. Given that the marketing budget was likely around 30 million, the movie barely broke even.

Of course, part of the reason for it was that it just had a bad release date. It released parallel to the Super Mario movie, which ended up being one of the most successful movies of this year.

A friend of mine could not believe that the movie had financially flopped. They were like: "What the hell? Literally everyone I know who watched the movie went to cinema like three times to see it again." But... Yeah, that is true. But the issue is that these people are a very certain group.

Because lets make one thing clear: The people, who adored the movie so much, that they went to the cinema several times and bought the DVD/BluRay on release... were mostly queer nerds. Because this is the group of people who this movie spoke to.

And let's make this clear: I love the movie for this. I love that it so clearly went for this audience. Because I am part of this audience - and I adore this film.

But basically the movie has a general issue in terms of audience. Because on one hand the movie is too nerdy to have a wider audience appeal of people who had never played DnD, while on the other hand the movie was kinda not nerdy enough to go full force for the nerd audience.

A lot of people in the fandom have instantly sussed out one thing about the movie: "Why doesn't Edgin cast any spells? And why do we see so little of the weirder species?" And part of the reason undoubtedly was budget related. But the other reason is that... well, it is currently a well accepted wisdom in media production that you cannot sell a high-magic story. At least not outside of animated media.

Hence... There is surprisingly little magic being cast in this. And we also do have a mostly human main cast - or why Doric is the most classically pretty tiefling you have seen with her human skin tone and all of that. Because media productions do not trust the audience to accept high magic concepts.

Who is DnD actually for?

Okay, let me talk a bit about DnD 5e - and a good decision, and a bad decision. And how that affected DnD.

Everyone, who is somewhat into DnD probably knows that 5e massively changed the game. With one simple goal: Make it more accessible. Which manifested in several ways.

For one, the game was in some ways made less offensive. Because prior to 5e there was a ton of racism, sexism, queerphobia and ableism inherent to the game rules and times to the game lore. This is just a fact. Things like species that are inherently evil and stuff like that - and also some of the real-life racial coding inherent to some of the species. Removing all that stuff is a good thing. Like amazingly good.

And also, they made the rules a lot more accessible. Before the rules were bogged down with a lot of stuff, that was simplified or removed. Again, this is a good thing.

And this worked. It worked really well. Of course, this was also partly due to stuff like Critical Role and other actual plays like that happening and promoting the game. The player base probably increased ten-fold from what it was before.

Yes, it should also be noted that there is probably a good topic for a study on how formerly nerd-thingies became more and more mainstream during the last 10 years or so, but yes, DnD was one of those things.

But in this there was also a rather bad decision made, which ironically also mirrors what happened with Marvel. And this decision is: Because we want to reach a wider audience, every single thing we release for this has to reach the widest audience possible - rather than allowing that certain things might have a more specific audience.

I am sorry to talk about the MCU here, but it is just such a perfect example of this: The MCU basically made two mistakes. Overwhelming their audience with too many releases. But also not allowing the movies to be for a certain audience, but for the broadest audience possible. A good example is how they dealt with the minority-lead movies. They got directors and at times even writers from that minority - but then basically did not allow them to be too specific and be too critical of, for example, a racist system because that might not go over too well with white mainstream audiences.

Now, WotC did not really do anything like that. But they also went with this idea that everything they officially released should have the broadest possible appeal. Hence the weirdly low-magic approach to the movie, of which I assume that it definitely was an executive decision made.

The fact that the movie resonated so much with the queers more than anyone else was also not intended - at least not from the production company. Like, let's be honest. No, Xenk and Ed were not supposed to be read as romantic. And how appealing the found family trope was, probably was not intented at least on the side of Hasbro (not sure about screenwriters and director).

The Lore Problem

This perfectly connects to one of the big issues that all the franchises going for a broad appeal after being very nerd-focused for so long, run into: The Lore Problem. And this is quite ironic, because I ran into the problem earlier this year as well.

See, as I was writing fanfics for DnD:HAT I quickly ran into the problem that I knew next to nothing about the world of Faerûn. Sure, once upon a time (like between 2007 and 2011, while I was living in Austria with my then-boyfriend, who really was into those games) I played the old games of Neverwinter Nights and Baldur's Gate 1 + 2. But let's be frank: I barely remember shit from those games. And getting to understand what actually happened in the lore between and after... Well, there is just a ton of lore. I mean, people are playing around with this world for literal decades. So, yeah. This can very much be overwhelming for someone getting into it anew. Like, where can someone new even start?

The fact that - at least partly for legal reasons - most of the Actual Plays also do not work with the official lore, rather just using the rules to create their own worlds, obviously adds to this. Even the tables I played on so far always preferred original worlds, because the lore of DnD is just very intimidating.

The one thing that actuall ended up getting me into the lore was BG3, because it left open just the right questions to go into the Forgotten Realms wiki and just look for stuff, before also starting to listen to lore podcasts.

But here is the thing: WotC is also not helping with this issue. Like, they absolutel could create a proper accessible compendium on DnDBeyond that would just allow people to get an overview of the world and the timeline of things happening, maybe go into some of the major factions of the world and such. I mean, heck, they really, really want you to use DnD-Beyond rather than roll20. Yet, in DnD-Beyond I do not even have a monster compendium without paying, which roll20 offers.

Like, sure, WotC, it is okay to lock up the adventure modules behind a paywall, no problem. But if you do give me even the most basic tools to run a campaign, I am gonna use roll20, thank you very much.

But yeah, what WotC should make just more accessible was just: Timeline, important places and the maps (heck, make them interactive, you have the fucking money), maybe also a proper list of the pantheons and factions within the world. Heck, add maybe some inspiration there for what players might want to do within one of the scenarios and then, under this, go and link "hey, we made this one adventure about this, if you are interested!"

Something I did not realize originally was how much freedom the lore still leaves the people. Like, often even the important settings and events are just set-ups for adventures that the characters can have in there. There might be a few novels or comics then, that go into an example of a thing certain established characters like Drizzt or Elminster did during the time, but there is a ton of freedom to explore.

But by basically locking everything up behind a paywall, you will never get people even interested in this kinda stuff.

Because here is the thing: I like my lore. I love lore. I adore lore. But... Without BG3 explaining some stuff and giving me specific questions to ask about it, the lore would have been very inaccessible to me.

Just think of people as... people

Of course among it all there lies the central problem that comes with capitalism running something like this. See, whatever CEOs and shareholders are sitting on those chairs with WotC and Hasbro, they do not see the players as players or the community as a community, but as consumers. Just as they see their employees not as valued constributors, but very exchangable wage slaves.

They do not see the value of the community exchange with stuff like fanmade modules and things. While incorporating a bit of homebrew stuff in DnD Beyond, they are absolutely not interested in the wider market of people just creatively interacting with DnD and making a little bit of money from it. If anything they see those people as potential rivals on the market.

Heck, they have issues seeing things like Critical Role or Roll20 as the enrichment for the franchise that either are - but more like potential rivaling forces and money they have lost.

And their employees? Yeah, as we learned... Most people who from the side of WotC helped the Larian team with BG3 have been let go by now. Because WotC and Hasbro do not care for their employees, they only care about having some numbers going up.

I fully admit it. Apart from Buying BG3 and the money I have invested in anything DnD:HAT related, the only money that WotC got from me, was some of the novels I bought on Audible.

But here is the thing: WotC is doing a shite job at wanting me to invest into any of their stuff. Partly because those modules I would like to have are not available anywhere anyway - and partly because... As I said, give me a reason to get something, rather than just expecting me to randomly get something.

And mind you, this is no slight against any of the people just working for WotC. This is mostly about shareholder and executive decisions made. Stuff that basically just sees either their employers or the players just as a ressource to exploit, rather than... people.

[imtrashraccoon]

My UTMV Skellies!

This took me so long (it's over 5,000 words!) but here is a little blurb for all of my named skellies. This should help if you don't know about some of them. I'll be pinning it to my master post so it's easier to reference in the future.

Undertale: Under Development

Sans: Classic

- Classic is skeleton who's on the shorter side at around five feet tall. His bones are broader than human bones are, giving him the appearance of a bulkier body. His eyelights are a soft white with a hint of blue and his teeth are mostly blunt, save for his canines which are sharper. He usually has grooves underneath his eye sockets as he struggles with insomnia. He doesn't usually have visible ecto but when he does, it's a whitish-blue like his eyelights. He's likely in his early thirties or the Monster equivalent.

- He is seen as a lazy comedian and he tends to play into this perception. He's generally overlooked by both Humans and Monsters, partially because he's a weak Monster and partially because he doesn't usually go out of his way to draw attention to himself.

- He has a lot of worries and inner struggles as he tends to overthink things but he hides them behind a smile and a well timed joke. He also struggles with depression and a myriad of other negative emotions. Despite this, he's a compassionate person and habitually keeps an eye socket on those he cares about.

- He occasionally does odd jobs but he prefers performing at comedy clubs. He's naturally charismatic and enjoys telling objectively bad jokes, especially since Humans don't tend to find the funny bone man a threat. Making people laugh helps him overlook his own prejudices anyways. Otherwise, he keeps to his old habits and is often found at Grillby's or asleep in strange places.

- Sometime, I plan to write a long fic centered around him but it's still in the early planning stage as I've been focused on other projects. At the moment I have two chapters written and a very basic plot outline. This fic will be called The Caged Canary.

Papyrus: Vanilla

- Vanilla is a skeleton that is taller than most humans, at nearly seven feet tall. He's thinner than his brother but his bones are still thicker than human bones. His teeth are larger than his brother's but mostly blunt, save for his canines. He also doesn't usually have visible ecto but when he does, it is a bright orange. I haven't decided if he would have visible eyelights or not, although I am leaning towards yes, but they would also be bright orange. He is likely in his mid twenties or the Monster equivalent.

- He is seen as an ambitious but rather naive person. Many people find him a bit much but they don't want to hurt his feelings so they put up with him. Unfortunately, many humans have tried to take advantage of his perceived naivety but he soon proves them wrong.

- In reality, he is a very genuine person who does his best to see the best in people. He is aware that a lot of people don't take him seriously but he has discovered that they tend to trust him much more easily. He is also compassionate like his brother and is quick to stand up for what he knows is right, even if it's not the easy thing to do. He tends to struggle with insecurity and can be a people pleaser since he really wants to have friends and to be liked. He may also be an introvert although you wouldn't know it at first.

- I haven't decided what he does for a living on the surface yet but a lot of his hobbies carry over from his time in the Underground. He continues his hobby of making puzzles, even moreso now that he has access to more materials. His nerdy side means that he gets to collect more action figures and he even gets into video games and comics. He also enjoys wearing bright colours and increasingly outrageous patterns.

- He will be a major character in The Caged Canary although most likely he'll be a friend rather than a love interest. I really like him but I have a hard time picturing him as the type to settle into a romantic relationship. This could change though.

Underfell

Sans: Crimson

- Crimson is a large skeleton, reaching about six feet tall and is much bulkier than a human skeleton. His eyelights are a crimson red and he has almost shark-like teeth, with one having been replaced with a golden tooth. He doesn't usually have visible ecto, since he usually covers most of his body anyways, but it would match his eyelights. His claws aren't as pointy as his brother's but they are equally as sharp. He has quite a few scars, mostly as a result of getting into fights back in the Underground, although he doesn't feel the need to really show them off nowadays. He is two hundred and nine years old.

- For much of his adult life, he has had a rather infamous reputation and was known to dust anyone who even looked at him wrong. Despite this, he liked to spend time at Grillby's and chat it up with the patrons. He was all too willing to challenge others to drinking games or play poker with anyone, although most quickly learned the hard way that he tended to win these. It was also an unspoken rule that if you wanted to buy certain illicit goods, he was the one to talk to.

- He does have cruel tendencies especially since he has quite a bit of LV, but he has a soul deep down. While he doesn't have many friends or family, he's very protective of the ones he does have. He's calmed down a lot ever since leaving the Underground but he's still a rough mannered guy. While he doesn't like humans very much, he has a soft spot for Frisk since they were the one to set Monsters free and change the King's mind about waging war. He doesn't leave the house much and prefers to be lazy over anything, much to his brother's frustration.

- He doesn't have a job but he does occasionally help his brother around the farm. Otherwise, he lives off of the gold he accumulated Underground and tries to enjoy life now that he doesn't have to fight all the time. He likes to go on walks and has been able to indulge in his interests, such as astrology.

- He will be a major character in my next Underfell fic called Fractured Souls as a love interest. I have written a couple of chapters but have delayed uploading them with how busy I've been. I have so much brainrot over him though.

Papyrus: Scar

- Scar is more lanky than bulky but at seven feet tall, he still towers over most people, especially humans. His eyelights are more of a scarlet colour and his teeth are also very sharp as are his claws. He doesn't usually have visible ecto since he prefers long sleeves and pants, but it would match his eyelights. He has two parallel scars that pass through his left eye socket and are between four and six inches long. He has other scars of course but he also doesn't see much of a need to show them off. He's one hundred and ninety-six and thirteen years younger than his brother.

- Like his brother, he had an infamous reputation in the Underground and still does ten years later. He was much more ruthless than his brother to the extent that some people thought he was the one in charge. He had great ambitions of taking over Undyne's position as Captain of the Royal Guard but never got the opportunity to properly challenge her. Regardless, he controlled Snowdin and regularly made examples out of wrongdoers.

- He also has a lot of LV and not so secretly enjoys watching the suffering of others, provided they deserve it. He's also very protective of those he cares about, even if he has weird ways of showing it. He is much colder than his brother but if you manage to impress him, he'll occasionally give small compliments. He also doesn't like humans and will happily insult them, even when they're within earshot. He's almost always busy, partially because he can't sit around for long but also because his brother can't be bothered to do much of anything.

- He lives off of his savings from the Underground but also makes a bit of money from the hobby farm he keeps, although most of the produce is sold in the nearby Monster town. He's much happier living a simple life over all the fighting he used to do but still occasionally trains so that he doesn't grow weak. He has trained a wolf as an attack dog to protect his farm and also has an interest in archeology.

- He will be a major character in Fractured Souls, possibly as a love interest although I am undecided. I also adore him since I see him as a tsundere type and who doesn't love a hardworking guy?

Gaster: Vermillion

- Vermillion is between his brothers in height and on the slim side. His eyelights are vermillion in colour as is his ecto if he summons any. He has sharp teeth, sharp claws, and two large scars that pass through his eye sockets, nearly splitting his skull in half. He is the eldest of the three brothers and would be middle aged, possibly around four hundred years old? I haven't decided yet.

- Unfortunately, no one actually remembers him thanks to an unfortunate accident that erased him from existence. When he does return to the physical plane, those that were close to him start to remember bits and pieces but most have to get to know him all over again.

- He's a quiet, calculating person who is often rather cold, even towards those he cares about. Despite his high LV, he means well in his own way. He likes to sit back and observe people before offering his input, which leads to some actually good advice at times. He finds humans incredibly interesting and if given the opportunity, would take time to learn all he can about them.

- He used to be the Royal Scientist before the accident but because most of his research is long gone, he spends much of his time recording what he remembers. He helps Alphys with her research where he can but doesn't want to overstep. Otherwise, he likes to spend his time reading and taking in the surface.

- He will be a major character in Fractured Souls possibly as a love interest, but probably in a more platonic way, almost in a familial sense. I need to develop his character more of course but I really like the ideas I've come up with.

Underswap: Under Development

Sans: Blue

Papyrus: Saffron

- Unfortunately I haven't developed much at all for my Underswap boys beyond a few asks regarding Lolitas. I'm not even sure if I like Blue's name as it's rather generic. At the moment their dynamic is similar to the Tale brothers although I want them to have their own personalities. One day, I plan to at least write a oneshot but I don't have much of a plot beyond three paragraphs. Blue may show up in The Nightmare of Apathy though.

Horrortale: Under Development

Sans: Baston

- Baston is a large skeleton reaching six feet tall and has a stocky build. He has a red eyelight in his left eye socket and is blind in his right eye. The left side of his skull has a bad crack and his right eye socket has a few splintering cracks. His teeth are flat but still very sharp and his phalanges are tipped with claws. He's in his forties or the Monster equivalent.

- He doesn't meet a lot of people as he has purposely isolated himself from society but anyone who do meet him are usually terrified. He's a giant of a man who can move soundlessly through the woods while wielding an axe so this makes sense. For the most part, other monsters have a good opinion of him since he tried to protect and take care of them back in the Underground. He doesn't interact with a lot of people he used to know, partly because they settled further away but also because of what he had to do to survive the famine.

- He's a man of few words, even with his own brother. He spends much of his time out in the forest hunting, trapping, and contemplating the scenery around him. He's actually a great cook and years of experience mean he knows the best way to prepare nearly every kind of meat. Despite his frosty exterior, he's a gentle giant and he hates seeing anyone suffering. He prefers to fully observe a situation before acting so if he offers to help, it's because he thinks you actually need it.

- He's a woodsman and does most of the hunting and foraging while his brother takes care of the more domestic labour. This means he's often away from their little cabin for days at a time but whenever he's able, he also helps with the heavier chores like plowing the ground or chopping wood.

- He's actually the first skellie I came up with and is featured in a oneshot called Crazy & Cold. I'd love to write for him again but I don't know where to take his story at the moment.

Papyrus: Hemlock

- Unfortunately, I haven't developed Hemlock very much at all. I know he's a gentle soul and all too willing to make new friends, even though they live far away from civilization. He suffers from chronic pain and so is a bit limited on what he can do, but he likes making things like preserves and sewing. He really likes plants and keeps a garden during the warm months, although he occasionally has to ask his brother to help care for it.

Dreamtale

Lord Nightmare

- Nightmare is slightly stocky and is close to average height for humans. Thanks to consuming the Black Apples, he is always covered in a slightly corrosive substance that is basically liquid hate. The corruption covers his right eye socket and he is blind on that side as a result, although he makes use of his magic to compensate for this. His right eyelight is cyan and any ecto he summons would be the same colour. He has four tentacles protruding from his back which he uses interchangeably with his own hands. His teeth are flat but his canines are slightly sharp and his phalanges are tipped with sharp claws.

- He is feared and hated by pretty much everyone he meets. As the self-proclaimed Lord of Dusk and Shadows, he goes out of his way to spread negativity throughout the entire multiverse and enjoys making people suffer. He is the boogeyman that's in your closet, the monster under your bed, your sleep paralysis demon, and even a warlord conquering your country if he so chooses.

- Behind closed doors, he's vastly different from all the tales people tell. He's calm, domestic even, and keeps himself busy with clerical duties or does some reading. He's capable of being kind but positive emotions are hard to process and he's often rather cold even to those he cares about. He tends to be very possessive with the few people that don't hate him but maybe that's not such a bad thing.

- While he was formerly the Guardian of Negativity, he still carries on some of his old duties. There must always be balance and despite how much he would love to wipe out all positive feelings, he's older and wiser than he was as a child. He inflicts nightmares, especially on those he rules over, but most of the time it's so he can feed off of the negativity and not because he wants to see people suffer unnecessarily.

- He is a major character in The Nightmare of Apathy but has also been featured in a few oneshots as well.

Dream

- I haven't developed Dream a ton although he briefly appeared in a oneshot called A Gentle Soldier. I also plan to feature him later on in The Nightmare of Apathy. He's shorter than his brother and not as wise to the world since he's only been unfrozen from the stone for a short time. He's graceful, almost ethereal, and takes his duties as the Guardian of Positivity very seriously. He's definitely not on good terms with his brother and they've clashed many times in the past.

Siren AU

Red: Tiger Shark

- Red is a tiger shark siren with a skeletal upper half. He's just under twelve feet long and has numerous scars over his body, mostly from fights with other sirens. He has razor sharp teeth, with one having been replaced with a gold one, and equally sharp claws. As a Beast, he has ringed eyelights and they are a bright red. While he doesn't often summon ecto, it would match his eyelights if he did.

- As a siren, he doesn't exactly have friends and since he likes to migrate a lot, he doesn't have much opportunity to make any. Most sirens perceive him as just another male who will fight over potential mates and kill any rivals. He does tend to get into a lot of fights and because he's hot-headed, he isn't doing himself any favours to dispel the stereotype.

- Sure, he enjoys knocking other sirens down to size and establishing himself as the stronger individual, but that isn't all he is. He's clever and likes to catch his prey by surprise. He actively considers others feelings, provided they aren't jerks of course, and doesn't mind helping out here and there. He can be prone to jealousy but rather than express his feelings, he often keeps them inside until he inevitably explodes.

- He likes hunting difficult prey and finding interesting treasures. He also enjoys meeting new people, especially if they're nice.

- He's a major character in Swarmed By Sirens and is based on Llamagoddessofficial's character.

Sans: Orca

- Sans is an orca siren with a skeletal upper half. He's close to twenty feet long and also has many scars riddling his body with the most prominent being around his pectoral fins from being caught in a net as a calf and two puncture wounds from harpoons. He has white ringed eyelights and if he summoned ecto, it would match his eyelights as well. His teeth are flat but the edges are still sharp, as are his black claws.

- He's a terrifying presence in the northern waters, even though he's alone and without a pod. There are very few sirens who survive encountering him and all who do will attest that he is insane. He roams the same relative area of the ocean and regularly hunts down anyone in his "territory". He especially hates humans and will sink their vessel if he's able to, killing all on board.

- Tragically, he is haunted by the trauma of losing his entire pod when he was young due to siren hunters. As a result, he hates humans with a passion and tends to have possessive tendencies for the few people he's come to care about. He's a bit of a cuddle bug despite his murderous nature and loves being able to hold someone close. He's also quite charismatic to the point that you wouldn't know he has ulterior motives, almost.

- For lack of a better term, he likes to play with his food, usually while it's still alive too. It's not unheard of for predators to do this sort of thing so while some people might find it unsettling, most don't care. Otherwise, he enjoys fighting and showing off his strength.

- He is a major character in Swarmed By Sirens and is based on Llamagoddessofficial's character.

Skull: Cephalopod

- Skull is a cephalopod siren with a skeletal upper half. Thanks to deep-sea gigantism and possibly because of his untamed magic, he is much larger than most of his subspecies at sixteen feet long. He has jagged teeth, although they aren't as pointy as a shark's, and sharp claws. He only has one blood red eyelight although the ring isn't as pronounced as it is with the other two. He is missing part of the left side of his skull and he's blind in his right eye socket.

- Life is very different in the Abyssal Zone compared to the rest of the ocean and very few sirens actually make their homes there. Those who do could care less about reputations and only focus on staying alive. That being said, anyone who dares trespassing into his den never return. He doesn't hate anyone in particular and only kills to defend himself or for food.

- He's a simple person, preferring to sleep most of the time when he isn't hunting. He prefers to ambush his prey so that he can save his energy for when it counts. His injury has affected his memory and he doesn't know much about what his life was like before. He doesn't even remember if he has any family.

- He does like collecting shiny things but he doesn't have much use for them so he doesn't make it a habit. He doesn't care to show off his strength like the others, instead preferring to give gifts to potential mates.

- He's a major character in Swarmed By Sirens and is based off of Llamagoddessofficial's character.

The Dark Fortress: Under Development

Nightmare: Lord Donovan

- Donovan is covered in corruption thanks to being essentially forced to consume the Black Apples to survive a mortal wound. He has four tentacles protruding from his spine that are far stronger than they seem and has a bit of a stocky build. He has a cyan eyelight in his left eye socket and, while he could summon ecto, he doesn't see much need. His phalanges are tipped with sharp claws and he has sharp canines as well.

- He is a powerful sorcerer who can strike fear in the hearts of mortals just by looking at them. While there aren't many who actually know his name, they certainly know what he's done. He doesn't hesitate to destroy any perceived threat and his ruthlessness puts warlords to shame.

- Behind closed doors, he's much calmer, almost solemn at times, but bitterness has taken root in his soul. He hates that his birthright was ripped away from him and he wants nothing more than to get revenge on the ones responsible, although such a thing isn't possible anymore. Surprisingly, he takes pity on the outcasts and vagabonds of the world, giving them a place to belong in exchange for their loyalty. He highly values loyalty and as such, he needs people to prove themselves before he'll trust them.

- Other than conquering kingdoms, he likes to spend his time in his personal library where he can take comfort in one of the few things that brings him happiness. He's protective of his books and gets very upset if anyone even speaks of damaging them. He also enjoys experimenting with alchemy or magic and has a whole laboratory dedicated to these pursuits. He isn't really one for socializing, although he isn't opposed to spending quality time with the handful of people he trusts.

- He is from a oneshot called The Dark Fortress and serves as the love interest, much to his chagrin.

Killer: Dirk

- Dirk has a slight frame compared to the others but he's stronger than he appears. He doesn't have visible eyelights and constantly has corruption leaking out of his eye sockets. His soul has been warped beyond recognition and now appears as a red glowing target that floats above his ribcage. He's probably the only one of the four who cares to summon ecto regularly, although it matches his soul in colour. His phalanges are pointy and have dozens of small nicks where blades have bit into the bone.

- He is deadly in close quarters and while he usually plays the role of assassin, he's perfectly comfortable fighting on the front lines with the others. There aren't many outside of the fortress who even know of his existence and while he likes getting attention, he enjoys killing even more. While most of his targets never even see him coming, those who do quickly discover how insane he really is. He taunts his foes and is often grinning from ear to proverbial ear; sometimes he even makes crude jokes while in the thick of a fight.

- He's not too different behind closed doors compared to when others are around. Although, while he's still cocky, he also has some obsessive tendencies and tends to get jealous if you pay too much attention to others. He likes to act petty and steal things to annoy other people, especially if they're ignoring him. He's easily the most forward of the four and will flirt incessantly with anyone and everyone, although he's not actually serious about it most of the time.

- He used to be a common bandit until that life grew too dull and he became a killer for hire. Now that he's part of the Dark Fortress, he has more time for himself and can afford to relax without having to sleep with one eye socket open. He likes to collect pets with his favourite being a cat-like creature he named Princess Floofer-biscuits; he usually just calls her Princess though. He also likes to collect knives and random souvenirs from his various jobs.

- He's featured in The Dark Fortress and a few related drabbles, although I intend to write more for him sometime.

Dust: Reven

- Reven is rather unremarkable looking, being about average height and not having any noticeable scars like the others. He has scarlet eyelights with his left one having an additional ring of blue and if he summons ecto, it would be a light purple. He has flat teeth with slightly pronounced canines and he meticulously takes care of his phalanges so that they're sharp but not overly so.

- He's a sort of jack of all trades on the team, although he is shockingly good at being stealthy when the situation calls for it. Most people only know of him and what he's done, but he's perfectly alright with that. He barely talks at all except with himself when no else is paying attention and when not on a job, he tends to spend his time sleeping or maintaining his gear.

- What you see is pretty much what you get with him, although on occasion, bits of his old personality seep through the cracks. He has a tendency to stare at people, especially if he likes them, which while unnerving, is really the only way you'll catch him smiling. He secretly enjoys slapstick comedy and likes to play pranks on people, although he won't admit he's the one responsible. He isn't exactly religious, but he was once a paladin for a justice deity and he'll occasionally slip into old habits. Most of the time this is just muttering their title under his breath when he's frustrated, but other times, he'll find himself in the act of avenging some injustice without even meaning to.

- Other than sleeping, he habitually sharpens his weapons but he has a hard time mustering the same effort when it comes to his own armour or clothing and so he's pretty much always covered in dust. He'll clean up if he's actually dirty or bloody but only because he has to. He doesn't like silence and has to find ways to fill it to keep himself distracted from the things he's done. Which is why he hangs around his teammates, even if he acts standoffish and aloof. Otherwise, he enjoys spending time in nature or doing something that gets him to think like games of logic.

- He's featured in The Dark Fortress and I would love to explore his character more but I'm not sure how just yet.

Horror: Maul

- Maul is larger than the others, despite being a skeleton, and is a bit self-conscious about this. The left side of his skull is missing thanks to a nearly mortal injury he sustained and he's also blind in his right eye socket. He only has one blood red eyelight in his left eye socket and while he technically could summon ecto, his magic isn't as stable as it once was. The edges of his teeth are jagged from years of wear and tear, as are his claws.

- Thanks to his size, he's generally the muscle of the team and he's content to keep things that way. He has a terrifying presence, mostly from his size and tendency to silently watch people. He mostly only speaks when spoken to and when he does, he's rather blunt and will say exactly what he's thinking. It's obvious that he's been through some horrible circumstances in the past but he doesn't like to bring up bad memories.

- He basically has guard dog energy and despite looking scary, he's possibly the nicest out of the four. He likes to keep to himself and tinker with things or try out new recipes, but he doesn't mind company, so long as he isn't being constantly interrupted anyways. Despite everything he's been through, he still carries himself with a sort of noble pride and keeps an eye socket out for his teammates. He isn't one for finery and prefers to craft his own gear rather than steal it, not that he could do so without being noticed anyways.

- He's the only one with cooking talent and has become the unspoken chef, but he doesn't mind since it means he can look after those he cares about. He's also decent at repairing armour and maintaining weapons, although the others don't usually need his assistance. He also enjoys taking long walks outside, especially at night, and just relaxing in general.

- He's featured in The Dark Fortress and while I want to expand on his character, I haven't thought of anything just yet.

Mafiafell: Under Development

Sans: Cadmium

Papyrus: Carmine

- Apparently I named these guys and while I have written down a few ideas, I don't have any solid plans for them just yet. I really like Mafiafell so I'll probably write at least a oneshot at some point. Appearance wise, they'd probably be similar to my Underfell boys.

[nerdieforpedro]

12/10/2023 - Weekend Update

Nerdie! Look at you staying on a schedule.

I know! Being half-way organized. It's kinda nice.

We'd never thought we'd see the day. So what's new?

I made some fic posts this week:

Sard'ika Sessions - Session Two (Din Djarin x plus size female reader)

Christmas List (Robbie Reyes x reader)

The Brave, The Bold, The Dirty - Fanfics that I adore (Volume 3)

A New Tradition with Frankie (Frankie Morales x GN reader)

We also spread positivity though everyone's ask boxes and exchanged lovely messages with each other and loved on each other.

Read anything this week?

I did. A large portion of it is in my Fanfic appreciation post volume 3 which the link is above. I also started a volume 4 because I love highlighting different author's works that I've enjoyed. 😀

I'm just going to pick my top three for the week:

Don't Drink the Punch by @wildemaven (Soft Dave and female reader. I'm a fan of soft Dave. He can be soft and sweet. He and the reader are married and they're at a work event. It's lovely.)

Exposed by @maggiemayhemnj (Ezra and female reader. Turns out this is her first fic. I was flabbergasted. The Imagery, word flow and cadence are all from someone who's pen name is one word, like Cher or Homer or Ms. PayDay.)

Insatiable by @pedge-page (Frankie Morales and female reader. Part three of their three part emotional sexual odyssey with Frankie and the female reader. There's big feelings and lots of smut abound. But there is a sweet end to it.)

What happened outside of fanfics this week?

I was sick most of the week. I ended up in the ED at work and was out for the week. Thankfully I'm on the mend and should be ready this upcoming week for work and beyond! I caught up on different FBI shows, watched Loki with my mom (she wonders if he's going to be at a convention - I'm hoping not so she won't bum rush the man,) and bought a book on flowers. I've also been starting back up on learning Spanish again.

What's coming up this week?

I'm working on another Robbie Reyes fic - likely to be a one shot but dark because the Rider is dark. Gabriel Luna had a birthday this past week, @musings-of-a-rose sent me all the pictures so this is where we are in life right now. All Luna’ed down and what not.

I'm gonna try for some more fluff, maybe with Dieter, Frankie or Benny. Not sure who. We'll see.

I could, possibly, be working on one of my other series that I started and dropped like a hot potato. Maybe they'll have new chapters. People were reading them, which was the weirdest thing.

Session Three of Sard'ika Sessions will be up on Wednesday. The Way is paved with Space Smut according to the Maker. 🫡 We'll be at the mid-point so we're in for a shift, but no worries. Session four, five and six took up a lot of pages in my notebook and it was all outlined with a lot of things. Maybe some more improper beskar use? Might need to touch base with The Armorer on that. 👀 Didn't know that was included in the ancient ways either.

Nerdie, don't be messing with The Creed like that.

To be fair, I did mention in Session one that there would be liberties taken with both The Creed and The Way so the latter sessions are where more of those liberties are taken. Maybe a lot, maybe a little. You'll have to read and see. Different Mandalorians see The Creed differently, why can’t I?

I am curious about what liberties my Space Sister @linzels-blog would make with The Creed. 🤔

Wait, why is it weird that people were reading your other series?

Since I haven't updated them for months, I didn't expect them to get any comments, then they did. It was very sweet and got me thinking, maybe I should finish that at some point, or at least add to it. I'm trying to focus on one at a time. Can't be crossing streams.

We get it, but that joke though? Could have done without that. Any last thoughts?

I need to work more on the pickled Peña project. Haven't finished that yet. Stay safe and hydrated. There are nasty bugs that are wreaking havoc on people's noses and sinuses. We’re very happy that @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin and @for-a-longlongtime have lived to tell their stories.

Also check your knives and watch your tips. I guess you can palm the tips or take them and do whatever as long as you're safe about it.

Nerdie, what are you talking about...? Do we want to know?

If you know, you know and if you don't, find some hot tips. 😘

Stay safe and don't get any in your eye,

Love Nerdie 💜

(escapes to a certain moodboard 🍆)

Nerdie! You can't just say that and leave! 😠

[eyeris-moni]

Would Ben ever be able to move on fully? does he long to be human again? How does he cope?? Your headcannons provide such good angst opportunities

Thank you so much!!

I'm really happy you see my angst potential vision too 😎

__________________

In my AU, I personally imagine that he:

Ben could theoretically move on and let go. I think the fact that he has grown up is a sign to Slender, Grin Snatcher and others that maybe it's just a matter of time. It's *good* that he's growing and healing and yet I can't help but imagine it's an unspoken tension sometimes - the realization that Ben will one day disappear and that it's likely a part of healing. Of letting go.

In many ways, I think Ben still acts somewhat human. Like, I think he probably continues to sleep, eat and drink, despite not needing to. Maybe he does it because he as a ghost, wants to live *so badly* and these are hardcore burned into his mind as a way of living. To be alive. Getting to live life beyond trauma and malice is also what I reckon allowed him to grow. Reclaiming the life and joy that was taken cruelly from him - which he wasn't allowed in the cult.

I think he tries to make the most out of his life as a ghost and use his powers, because it feels better that way. But I do think there's nothing he wants more than to be human. If I recall correctly (i famously know -500% OG canon lore about the "canon CRP characters), then Ben was an idol in his group? That's at least something i adopted into this AU. And a part of him longs not just to be physically human, but maybe more important, seen as mere human. To be treated normally, loved normally. To have a childhood and life and have friends and family. I at one point wrote a story about how Ben and Raz clashed, because Raz idolized them all and in a way, Ben appreciated that. He wanted to be taken seriously and it felt familiar, being loved like that. But then it starts really getting on his nerves because he longs for genuine, balanced friendship. And Raz is just so used to agreeing and following others at that point, because of his own issues. They figure it out, ofc! But it's probably one of the reasons they were first allowed to hang once Ben was more confident and able to figure himself out. Else their dynamic might've been really unhealthy...

For coping methods, I actually haven't thought too much about it, but that's a super fun thought - as you might've guessed, I love thinking about how character's think and act NCJDJS

Let's see... I think Ben might cope by:

- Leaning on Grin Snatcher a lot, when he struggles with trauma, memories and his relationship to his original father. Slender isn't really emotionally engaged a lot of the time, but Grin can be pretty affectionate and comforting.

- Gaming. Both as a way of escapism, but as well as a way to harness and figure out his powers.

I don't draw him gaming a lot, but the shirt he wears as an adult, is from a game franchise in their world (it's called HORIZON and appears in the bg of another piece too, because I cannot stop having fun with easter eggs like that haha)! I think he nerded that, and other games a whole bunch.

- watching/reading/engaging in any games he cares about. He 100% knows the top ten glitches of five obscure games for the blah blah blah. I think he's quite nerdy in that regard and can infodump a LOT. HE tries not to, because no one else seems into games as much as he, but I bet to cope he'll read obscure articles or magazines and wiki's at 3 am. It's comforting!

- Pulling pranks. Over the years those have gone from intensely malicious and mean-spirited, to poking fun and being a jerk sometimes. (Mostly with Jeff and Mold, my oc, I imagine LOL Jeff gets the meanest of it because it's funnier when he blows up.) He can be a bit intense still, but it's kind of hard regulating properly in a house full of killers though--

___________________

You can def go angstier or fluffier with the outline :3 I tend to tell very feel good stories where angst is slowly healed, but that's because seeing character's happy is my personal cope LOL

If any of the interpretations or ideas says something to you, have fun with it ofc!! If you love angst, then feel free to have fun with the darker, sadder aspects of it!

When it comes to my interpretations and OC's, it's all just funny thoughts - dolls we can okay with as we see fit to enjoy life (: !

It's why I'm very pro "feel free to have your own personal HC about my AU, as long as you respect my choices in my own AU telling" - it's such a joy to hear about my thoughts resonating with others and inspiring them in turn!

Thanks for the ask, it was super fun to answer - hope the google doc worths of text wasn't too much haha - I really tried to stay on topic

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

Not me realizing that in my epic frenzy of posting YasMoon moodboards on main I have, in fact, not made any moodboards for my Main Boys in a long time D: Not since the Halloween ones, I don't think???

WELL ANYWAYS. I made the lads a Spotify playlist!!! It was very long overdue tbh, but I finally stopped caring if my irls on Spotify would judge me for having a gay karate ship playlist XD Sorry it took me 2 years into having this blog to make the boys an official playlist ^^;

Now, now, I know what you're thinking. "WHERE is the TSwift??? WHERE is the TSwift that goes so perfectly with my Elimetri???" A valid concern! There are in fact so many TSwift songs that go with Elimetri that they're getting their own playlist. I've got a moodboard for that one coming soon, too!!!

They sadly didn't have neat little lyrics edits for my fave songs from the playlist, so I had to make them myself lol. If you're curious, they are: 1. Can't Let It Go - The Goo Goo Dolls 2. Time Bomb - All Time Low 3. Want You Like That - Charlotte Sands 4. Queen of the Night - Hey Violet (this one actually has a ficlet that goes with it <3)

I hope y'all appreciate my extra-ass moodboard, because I busted my ass making it XD Those text overlays were HARD, dude. I had to do like 50 font changes and adjust the outlines and shadows over and over before any of it showed up D: But I like how it came out in the end, so all worth it <3 <3 <3 Made it blue and purple-toned because they look damn good in blue and purple. RIP the purple hawk, lost but never forgotten </3 Wild that I found a DnD dice with a bird on it. Kind of a dramatic, raptor-looking bird, furthermore. Talk about the fates aligning to perfectly blend Eli's nerdy and avian-coded personality XD

Again, apologies that it took so long for the Elimetri Hyperfixation Account to...make an Elimetri playlist XD If anyone has song suggestions, lemme know in the comments or the reblogs and I'll give them a listen! Also down to do a full-blown lyrical analysis for any of these songs if y'all want it. I am. SO ready to talk about this <3 <3 <3

Moodboard pic credits available upon request, as always!

[llumimoon]

👀 (any dndads au you feel like sharing, lovebird! hope you're having a wonderful day btw 💜💜💜)

Hehehehe HIII HAPPI <3 I am having a wonderful day tysm!! :D I hope you are too <3

I'm trying to think abt if I have any aus that you don't already know about BWCEUAHAHAAH and im not sure how much you know abt the most recent one I've made

OOOH I have got this one fantasy AU I haven't touched in a while but I think would be really fun to revisit sometime! <3

The idea is that there's this ancient curse that's been unleashed on the land creating this magic rot that's slowly been devouring forests, towns, and eventually maybe even whole kingdoms! The rot can overtake animals and people, warping them into dangerous mirrors of their past self, this AU's take on doodlerization. the sauce if you will <3

Taylor is a member of the royal court of the Kingdom of Hell (son of the first prince Nick) and Link is his loyal guard and bestie who keeps him from dying in their shenanigans and escapades. They have a silly goofy, I've known you my whole life and I will die to protect you bc you're the person dearest to me also ur a dumbass who's stupid as fuck, energy going on <3 friends to dumbasses to lovers <3

Normal is a regular villager who recently happened to score an apprenticeship with the castle healer! Apparently his dad knew someone in the court and managed to pull some strings, wonder what that's all about. (spoiler alert: its pretty important and he's also secretly royalty but doesn't know it)

Scary is an amateur witch <3 She saw her mom start dating the castle wizard and was like FUCK THAT GUY AND HIS STUFFY BOOKS. BET I COULD DO THAT BUT BETTER AND COOLER AND LESS NERDY. So she's been sneaking off to practice magic with rudimentary materials and a few nicked things Terry left around their cottage.

Turns out Scary has a natural talent for certain parts of magic because she accidentally stumbles upon a prophecy outlining the world's possible end unless a certain group of people go to the ruins of a lost kingdom to stop the rot. And when she finds out who those people are she's like FUUUUUCK. bc now she's gotta find a way to sneak into the castle to somehow find these losers, one of which is apparently a PRINCE !! and then they've all gotta go out and not die on an adventure or else EVERYONE'S gonna die. and like she can't be bothered but also ig it would be kind of cool to shove it in her stepdad's face that she's more awesome than him and saved the world so. off she goes!

Hermie's the second prince who is often overshadowed by his older half brother. He happens to overhear the group talk about the prophecy around the time they're preparing to leave and tags along to prove his worth to his dads and also have people pay attention for him for once goddamn !!!!! also the healer boy is kinda cute <3

Cue super fun goofy and exciting magical fantasy quest !!! Secrets are revealed! Bonds are formed! Possible corruption? MAYHAPS! Also where even ARE the ruins of the kingdom of Oakvale no one seems to have heard of it at all! All while the rot continues to spread....

[paging-possum]

girl is just another word for rabies psa

another week another comic update! I somehow did a lot and absolutely nothing with this comic this week!

They actually have appearances now! Nobody comment on Terry being like, the fifth character I have with a mullet I am normal about the mullet hairstyle and do not desire having a mullet in any way shape or form. I'm trying to stick to designs and everything, but he might get a redo because I'm getting insecure about how many of my characters have mullets. That said, I'm not really a character designer, Im mostly here to write about rabies.

I didn’t like how the script was going and decided to change a lot of things about it and I’m entirely back to square one with writing aside from the first scene, which I feel good about (hence the fact that I started thumbnailing it). That said, I think I have a much more solid outline than I did before, so that whole process will hopefully be a lot quicker from here on out! The connections to the actual Milwaukee Protocol are getting stronger. Here's a peek into the shorthand I’m using for this comic.

The other Nat projects this week involve 1) homework, 2) trying to remember how to clean up the one million billion drawings I've sketched out in the past 1.5 weeks, 3) watching Derry Girls with my friends and 4) being sick. Here is one of the one million billion things I'm not working on.

I also realized I forgot to link the MILWAUKEE PROTOCOL PLAYLIST last time!! I would add the entire Nerdy Prudes Must Die soundtrack if it were on Spotify, but it isn’t so you’ll just have to switch over to whatever other music streaming service and listen to that after getting through this one. 

WHAT AM I LISTENING TO THIS WEEK:

The Wrong Station! It’s a horror fiction podcast with a lot of individual horror stories. My favorite one this week was the Eloise Kestrel episode, which was incredibly eerie and very well done.

Creature by half alive

Literally the entirety of Now, Not Yet by half alive

Say Amen (Saturday Night) by Panic! At the Disco 

Anyone with access to the CAPE playlists can probably figure out exactly which ones I’m listening to from the songs I put in these updates even though it’s been like, two weeks of song updates 

Ship in a Bottle by fin

[corduroyserpent]

Tag someone you want to know better

i was tagged by @kukuandkookie 🥰💕

Favorite color: light pink!

Last song: Partner in Crime by Madilyn Mei

Last movie: The Creator (i went in without having seen a trailer or anything and found it very enjoyable!)

Currently watching: uhhhh i just finished s2 of loki (😖) and i'm still watching various star wars shows (😖 and 🥰)

oh! i'm rewatching scumbag system too because i love it

Other stuff I've watched this year: oh gosh let me think 🤔

Stardust

The Dragon Prince S5

Centaurworld (twice!)

Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts

Black Friday and Nerdy Prudes Must Die (AS YOU ALL KNOW!! I'M BEING REALLY ANNOYING ABOUT IT 😂)

Various TGCF episodes, just for fun, it wasn't a full rewatch

Chainsaw Man

One Piece Live Action

Love Between Fairy and Devil

Till the End of the Moon

and more stuff but i really can't remember it all asdfghjkl

Shows I dropped this year/didn't finish: i haven't dropped any shows but there are ones i'm taking forever to finish watching. i've dropped a fair amount of books this year though

Currently reading:

Scum Villain (again. yes. when am i not?)

still working my way thru the original thrawn trilogy (BRING BACK MARA JADE YOU COWARDS!!!)

i started a reread of TGCF but then i accidentally reread all of MDZS instead...oops

i'll count One Piece as "currently reading" since i've been caught up for years and read the new chapters when they come out (anyone else cry over 1098 this morning?)

The Vampire Lestat

Currently working on:

the baby zzl fic (always always always)

bingqiu star wars au (it was supposed to be a one-shot but it's really gotten away from me, so i'm gonna have to split it into multiple parts!!)

a zhushen....nesting.......thing..........

a couple of wen ning/zhuzhi-lang fics

a follow-up to the six balls/zhuzhi-lang thing (nearly shared a wip of this last wednesday but then i got shy)

various hualian wips (these are on and off)

an outline for a mdzs multichapter fic that i'm thinking about writing

aaaaaand my novel (whaaat who said that....)

Current Obsession:

NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE!! YOU GUYS WANT TO WATCH IT SOOOO BADLY LOOK LOOK LOOK I'LL LINK IT OKAY I'LL PUT IT RIGHT HERE (i recommend watching the previous hatchetverse musicals – The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals and Black Friday – first to get the full experience, but you do you!)

also still obsessed with SVSSS obviously

and i got back into MDZS too so that's been fun!

Tagging: uhhh how about @squeeegs and @monroeknoxwrites and @goatpunch2 and anyone else who wants to do it! BUT LIKE NO PRESSURE <3

[randomshipperhere]

!!🧹CLEANING OUT DRAFTS WRITTEN IN LIKE 2022. Posted as is last written🧹!!

Okay but fr

I know stereotypes are a thing for a reason and people who are like in the same kind of space like similar things but-

I kinda forgot this man already came out and I just went “omg I am too!!!” and seeing his tweet about Jaiden made me :) (and though I don’t gush about it often on tumblr dot com I am very much into musicals as well)

Him loving Tick Tick Boom with all his little nerd heart. I was obsessed with that and Andrew for like the entirety of January.

I’m still desperately waiting for that Tick Tick Boom video though (there might be a chance considering his vague posting about an outline of videos coming out with November having a “T?”)

Liking an episode which I thought was already well-recieved by the fandom (I was part of the GF fandom but never went in the deep end. I literally joined when the show ended and in the middle pf all the Bill Cipher statue world wide hunt that happened. It was a cool. I may have missed out on a lot but being there when it happened was just a phenomenal experience that can’t be compared)

And seeing his tumblr sexyman ranking made me actually burst out laughing in our living room. (most of my faves are in B tier and by most there’s like 3 but Bill deserves S spot)

What brought this about? I rewatched a lot of his ranking + dreamworks movie essay videos because I felt nostalgic and went on a little deep dive.

Like God I made a joke on how he seems to be a tumblr girl considering his reaction to the Onceler in his Illumination ranking vid and how I felt a kinship towards him (I literally learned how he made a tumblr sexyman tier list just a couple of minutes ago and this thing I said as a joke was actually a thing he did was the reason why I laughed so hard at his tier list).

Then y’know how much he liked the Heathers musical and even put JD’s Meant to be yours as his top 6 villain song and I just adore that musical to death. (He made a poll on twt and never made that Heathers video. Please Schaff-)

And I don’t really know where I’m going with this but outside of how rewatchable and how much I adore his videos, learning more about the nerdy man behind it just gave me a different perspective? I guess? Well I’m just happy about it all and of course I don’t agree with everything he says (Howl deserves a better ranking but I forgive you) but I guess it’s that odd thing about being happy that someone like you is popular and all that jazz.

Like Jaiden coming out made me happy because she was this popular animation channel and seeing something I like + someone whom I semi-regularly watch and also like being someone similar to me gives me that bouncy happy feeling. Knowing Schaff is a essayist who just feels so passionate about certain things and even making people rethink what they thought about a movie (ex. Shrek Forever After) and as someone who hyperfixates (and I’m not assuming anything until I actually get properly medically diagnosed) and just overexplains all the nitty gritty details about the things I love and what makes them so great and special it just makes me giddy. I guess its what people would refer to as “representation”. That empowering feeling that hey someone like me can be successful kinda feeling. IDK man. Don’t mind the ramblings of an anon on tumblr. I’ll just enjoy his vids in peace and this is the first and last you’ll ever hear of him from my blog again.

But seriously all those commenters on the Illumination ranking video saying he should watch all the Barbie films you guys are brilliant.

(Still waiting on the Tick Tick Boom, Heathers, HTTYD 1, and KFP 2 videos and maybe something about how he likes The Lorax 2012 in the same way he enjoys Shark Tale. I’d love to hear all about it)

[orionoldmann]

A title won't be necessary. I wouldn't want the words "double chin" to jump out from a post and re-trigger my spiralling self-deprecation anyways. But yes, I suppose this post concerns beauty standards? Double chins in general. It's an issue of much relevance to me, that's all.

Perhaps some context first.

It was a café chat kind of thing between our friend group. A friend, she's 2 years older than us (not relevant to the story, I add that because I wish to dredge this out of my memory) casually mentioned that I had a double chin now. I didn't comment on that, and also casually ignored it, everything was fine, placed within the context we were just teasing and joking around with each other.

But fast forward to the present, and that one commentary got stuck in a loop inside my head. Now, whenever I go into the bathroom, I always look at myself in the mirror. The double chin is - still - there, and if I recede my head back enough, of just bend my head down a bit, I can see the faint outlines of the layers of fat that mark a feature of my face that wasn't there just one year ago. And whenever I go walking in the park, meeting people, my eyes always subconsciously seek their chin to see if it's a double chin, see if they look pretty regardless of it, or does the chin diminishes their appearance like I thought it undoubtedly diminishes mine. The awareness that I have a double chin now eats into my consciousness so, I'd be disinclined to read while commuting on the bus - one of my used-to-be favorite pastimes - because I was wary of showing my double chin while bending down to read.

And it sucks. One thing, I hated myself for letting a comment, not ill-intentioned, lodge itself inside my head. I've always esteemed myself beyond petty judgements, always thought myself generous and forgiving in misdeeds - indeed, that person, in all likelihood, wouldn't remember ever having said I had a double chin! And now, because of a minor joke, I torment my consciousness with irrational thoughts about my ugliness, how, because of one feature most common among all humans and imperceptible at the majority of the time, I waste precious time, when I could be studying, working, enjoying my life, dwelling and sulking on it, so much so it's the first thought that enteres my head as I wake up. Such resentment and hatred prospers even more as I remember myself but a year ago, more toned, more refined than I am now, and definitely without a layer of fat beneath my face. And I am eighteen years old, not eighty! I should be enjoying my physique, my appearance, I should be cherishing the precious spring of youth that I taste but once in a lifetime, and yet here I am, paralysed, unable to concentrate on my studies, my life, because of a comment about some excess fat.

But the most grievous injury, the one I despise myself most for sustaining, is my now askewed eyes that misjudge beauty. See, I've always considered beauty to be diverse. I love nerdy, dorky men with lanky frames, messy cascading hair with dimples on their cheek; I love the absolute chads that go out in a tank top, their breast muscles toned and full, their faces blank and unaware of the intense passion they arouse; I love the fellas whose skin shines tan as though they're permanently on vacation in the tropics; I love the dudes with circles under their eyes and craziness in their gaze. (Though, unpopular opinion here, I'm not the greatest fan of K-pop singers, with whitish skin that reminds me of bleach and straight lanky hair that I envision just pokes into the eyes and irritate the hair-wearer. But I'll get a pass for that.) My point is that I've never given a hoot for conventions of beauty, I've never cared if a feature isn't optimal in a face. But now, because of that one time I was called out for having a double chin, my eyes just look at that feature first. It's becoming mediocre and prejudiced; beauty is in the eyes of the beholder; my eyes, then, are getting blinded to true beauty - that not of the society, but of each individual. And I resent, I simply resent how one comment, one passing phrase, can make me think like that.

And I think that echo, the one constantly whispering into my mind that I have a double chin and therefore am underiable, that I must pay special attention to my posture so as to not reveal it - it isn't going away anytime soon.

But. I've found ways to deal with it.

There's this theory, called Emergence, basically stating that a thing is more than the sum of its parts. An ant colony, for example, is a complicated structure with a hierachy and specialised compartments and social roles, features unfound if, say, many unrelated ants were simply placed together in the same space. (Correct me if I mistate the facts.) An orchestra has a harmony that no lone instrument possesses, but all creates together.

I think this extends to human beauty. I'd like to train my consciousness to recognise beauty isn't a collection of beautiful features, but a harmonious composition of features that complement each other, forming something that no feature alone has. I'd like to think that my double chin, if it be here to stay, isn't here to diminish my face; it's here to work, here to tune in, here to harmonise with my nose, my lips, my eyes, even my eyebrows to create the face that is me. Sure, it'll take time before I accept its presence. I'll compare my present self with the idealised imgae of the free-from-double-chin me one year prior, I'll think myself degraded in handsomeness - for a time. But eventually I'll recognise and treasure my face for what it is. Sure, a double chin is conventionally more unattractive than a chiseled jawline. But my face, taken together, will mannifest beauty. That I believe the truth; I shall force my mind to believe also.

And one more. The second is rather callous, but it works. It's a variation of "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder": "Not seeing beauty doesn't mean it isn't there, it means you're blind to it."

Essentially, I appease my superiority complex by thinking that my double chin can be and is beautiful, and those commenting on it, those deem it otherwise, are blinded to beauty, are common and prejudiced - thusly, unworthy of my opinion, and whose opinions are unworthy of my consideration. They may dislike my apperance; but who are they to recognise elegance and grace? Yeah, cocky, I know. But it floats the boat, so I'm adopting it.

These kinds of things take time to adjust to. Mental wounds take long to stop bleeding and forever to heal. And scars always remain. I can't run away from that. As I continue with my life, many a time will I again encounter comments on my face, my posture, my acts, that drags me down. But perhaps I'll learn to shrug them off, weed out such impure thoughts from my brain, and move on with my tasks. After all, I have a life to live. I can't go around appeasing everyone.

[clari-writes]

Thank you so much for this lovely, thoughtful comment! It made my day!

So much of what you said is what I really wanted to shine in the story. The structure especially! I wanted to combine this specific questioning-self-while-doing-a-thing form that I've been hoping to write with for a while + Dominic's thought process as he focuses on what he has to do in the present while being drawn back again and again to the night of the ball, and I'm really glad that felt coherent and complete. I got nerdy satisfaction writing it, so thank you for noticing!

I'm also really glad you liked Regine! Aside from the setting, she was the new, arguably abrasive element to the retelling, and someone who I intended to be Dominic's snapping point and ultimate grace. I have a very vivid picture of the siblings' past and her call to be a nun, and even though I couldn't add it on-screen I'm glad you saw the outlines of her character act.

I'm ridiculously happy that you figured out it was the Philippines before the author's note. I didn't really want to call it by name in-text yet - mostly because I was and am still pondering if it would still be Las Islas Filipinas or if it was early enough in our history for us to consider being renamed + other political things like how much of the Philippines is actually under the monarchy - but I wanted that specificity to be there.

Fairytale alternate history Philippines is something I definitely want to come back to! I've thought about fantasy!Philippines before, but the idea of a successful uprising with fairytale magic in particular was something that only occurred to me in this story, and there are so many elements of it I want to explore (the tension with the fae especially; with the current iteration of the story in my head, I think this is what Cinderella struggles with the most off-screen). A novel-length version of this sounds so much fun! I'll probably ponder it after my current WIP about saints.

Thank you again for reading and for the encouragement! I really appreciate it 🥰

The Prince

A sovereign ruler must be, above all, a man of duty and reason. Prince Dominic knows this, and lives heart and soul by the edict. Grasps full well the consequences of what could happen if he didn’t.

So why is it that when he asks the Captain of the Guard if they found her, his voice catches with hope?

“No, Your Majesty,” Captain Bernard says. “We managed to track her as far as the Bridge of the Diwata, but after that, it was as if her carriage turned into thin air. We can only suspect it was magic.”

There is a warning laced into the word magic, both in the captain’s tone and Dominic’s own instinctive understanding. The fae folk were unruly; unpredictable; dangerous. While they had marked themselves as enemies only to nation’s former colonizers, the Spanish, Dominic knew better, as the heir to the Islands’ third-generation monarchy, to count on them as friends. He should feel relieved that the lady cloaked in their torrid enchantments vanished without a trace.

Better, he tells himself and his sinking heart, in the long run.

He clears his throat. “Thank you, Captain. Is that all?”

“Well,” Captain Bernard says, and then hesitates.

Prince Dominic barely restrains himself from pouncing on the man. “What is it?” he asks with deep patience.

“We found what we believe is something of hers, Your Majesty. A slipper.”

“A slipper?”

“Made of glass.” The captain nods at one of his men, and a guard liveried in green and gold moves forward to place a glimmering object in front of the prince. “It was at the base of the bridge. We cannot know for sure it was hers, but-“

“It’s hers,” says Prince Dominic hollowly. He remembers now, in one of the more lively dances of the ball, when the lady kicked her feet in the air he’d noticed in an instant how they sparkled.

Do you have jewels encrusted on your toes? he’d teased.

She’d replied with a dazzling smile. Something like that.

 “If I may, Your Majesty,” Captain Bernard says. “May I inquire as to the urgency of finding this girl?”

“Pardon?”

“If she’d stolen something significant, perhaps, during the hours you were alone,” the captain prompts. Dominic flushes, even though there is no rebuke in the captain’s words. “If so, I’ll organize a search party straight away.”

Do it, Dominic’s heart sings. The prince bites his tongue. Takes another deep breath.

“That won’t be necessary,” he says. “She isn’t important.”

So why is he paying a visit to the royal glassmaker, shoe in hand?

“No doubt about it, Your Majesty,” Doña Rosaline says, after taking a close look at the slipper through her famed magnificent magnifying glass. She placed the pristine object in front of him with a mixture of awe and fear. “That’s the fae’s work. No human hands could have produced something as fine as this.”

“Is it cursed?” he asks. He’s half convinced himself it’s so.

“Gifted, more like,” she replies, stopping his errant wonderings in their tracks.

“What do you mean?”

“Your lady seems to have won the favor of a fairy,” the artisan replies.

“I’ve never heard of-“

“Neither have I, Your Grace, but the proof is right here in front of us.” She gestures to the slipper. “You cannot force the fae to create. You have heard of the case of Count Floribel-“

“I have,” Dominic says with the wince. It was years ago, back when the Islands’ revolution still consisted of whispers in the dark. Count Floribel, their appointed ruler, had actually managed to capture a fairy – rumor has it, with a desperate native’s help, after the noble promised to curb his family’s debt – and he had demanded of the creature to provide the secrets of the yet-unconquered mountainfolk’s intricately woven designs.

In response, the fairy blew themself up. There is still a crater where the Count’s mansion had been.

“Well, there you go. We’d have to rule that out. The other option, then, is to strike a deal with the fae, and of course there are records of that, such as the royal crown. But, Your Majesty,” Doña Rosaline says with the shake of her head, “I cannot imagine what your lady might have traded for a fairy to craft something so unique, it would only find its perfection in her wearing it.”

“How could that be so?”

“The glass,” Doña Rosaline says, “Is not still. Not when you look at it closely enough. It ripples and bends at one’s touch—it is truly quite remarkable. I can only imagine what it would look like on the feet of the one it was meant for. And if rumors are to believed,” she continues, “the shoes’ beauty weren’t even the most marvelous aspect of the lady herself.”

Dominic can’t help himself. He smiles. “I can confirm that.”

“Oh?” Doña Rosaline voice takes on a teasing lilt. “And how would you describe the young lady, dear prince?”

“She was kind,” he says, almost unthinkingly. There were many things he could have said of her, but her kindness was what lingered in his mind the most, was what made her beauty more revelation than ornamentation. His first breathtaking sight of the lady was her descent down the staircase in all her gorgeous glory. His second was her approaching him with a platter of food and not a whit of guile in her eyes, saying shyly that he looked like he was hungry. She’d been right; he hadn’t had a bite to eat all day out of nervousness.

“Will you look for her?”

“What?” he says, snapping out of his reverie.

“I assumed that was why you were asking,” Doña Rosaline says. She is grinning. “I wasn’t at the ball myself, Your Grace, but I’ve heard what others are saying of you, and I’m glad, if you forgive the presumption. After everything that happened with your sister, I am truly happy that you’ve found-“

“I think you misunderstand, Doña,” he says, holding up his hand. “I was concerned about her, is all.”

“Concerned?”

“When it occurred to me that the fae might have had her in their thrall,” he says. 

There were other things, as well. Little things, like how she flinched at the chamberlain’s loud voice, how she startled when he first raised his hand to lead her through a dance, as if she expected to be struck instead. Like how she recognized his hunger because she was clearly starving just the same.

“But that’s no matter,” he says. “The lady must be fine, if she has a fairy looking after her.” That ought to quell his persistent little anxieties over whether she is eating enough.

“Perhaps,” Doña Rosaline says, but she looks doubtful.

“You disagree?”

“If the fairy isn’t tricking her,” Doña Rosaline says, “then they are gifting her something that she needs.”

“She needs little, then, if all that they gave her was access to a party all noble families are invited to,” he points out.

“Perhaps,” she says again.

“She did not ask for help,” Prince Dominic says.

“Did you offer?” she asks pointedly.

“Of course.”

The old artisan raises her eyebrows. “And she refused?”

“In a manner of speaking,” he says. He is fairly certain that running away counted as refusal. “Aside from that, she had every opportunity to ask for assistance and she did not. Coupled with what you’ve told me, I can only conclude that there is no imminent threat that looms over her.”

“Danger can take many forms, Your Grace.”

“I know.” Oh, how he knew. He can feel the judging eyes of the Spanish from beyond the seas, staring greedily at him and his kingdom. “Yet I cannot drop everything to save one damsel, Doña. Not if she didn’t ask for it.”

“True enough, young prince,” Doña Rosaline allowed. “But aren’t there other reasons why you would wish to look for her?”

The way she made him laugh uproariously, while remaining utterly unmoved by his puns. The warmth her presence and conversation brought him. The hours they spent, the first time he could remember he felt truly carefree since his parents died and his relationship with his sister turned sour.

“None that matter, Doña,” he says finally.

_ _ _

So why is it that, three weeks after the ball, she is all that he can think about?

He refused to let it show, of course. He had councils to attend—ambassadors to welcome—marriage contracts to assess. He needed an alliance with a country large enough to keep Spain at bay – a grand task, considering the few countries who were willing to even recognize the Islands as a nation, rather than a land full of savagery and witchcraft – and his hand in marriage was the simplest way to ensure the fidelity of that alliance without putting his kingdom in danger of another invasion.

Though who is he fooling—they are always in danger of another invasion. Which is why you must redouble your efforts in finding allies, he tells himself.

Which is why he cannot shirk his responsibilities, cannot lose one of the most precious cards he has to play in the game of politics, even for the beautiful, kind, fae-favored girl.

He is trapped.

“Brother?”

He starts, sending the papers he’d been staring at scattering across the floor. If he was not Crown Prince, he thinks he would have liked to swear like a sailor.

Instead, he inhales deep through his knows and stands up, all decorum. “Sister Regine,” he says. He makes sure his tone is firmly under control. “Why were you not announced by my chamberlain?”

“I was. You were the one still gaping at your papers like an idiot,” she replies bluntly.

Not for the first time, Prince Dominic wonders how the sisters of Saint Sofia – an order that was known to prioritize gentleness, peace, and humility – deal with his sharp-tongued older sibling. He supposes there are a lot of prayers for patience involved. He sighs, rifling a hand through his long hair. “The papers…”

“I’ll help you organize them,” she says, already stooping to the ground.

“You’re not supposed to be able to read them anymore,” he says tiredly.

“Or what? You’ll clap me in a tower again?” She smirks. “I guarantee that would be more comfortable than my room at the priory.”

“Only because you could convince Captain Bernard to bring you anything you wanted.”

“He always had a sweet spot for me,” she preens.

It is more than that, both of them knew. There is no etiquette in how to deal with a queen turned prisoner turned novitiate, especially since she is still technically the queen until she takes her final vows.

But they do not talk about that.

Her long habit makes a pool of coarse blue cloth around her as she bundles papers into her arms. “Anyway, Your Majesty,” she says, all razor-sharp exaggeration at the honorific, “That is not why I am here.”

“You didn’t just want to see me?” His hurt is not entirely feigned. He grabs a receipt that has somehow lodged itself between Pinuno: From Datu to Constitutional Monarchy and 1670: La Revolución de Las Islas.

“Heavens, no. Do you understand how hard it is to get here?”

“I had taken pains to ensure you always have access to me,” he says. Despite everything.

She shoots him a look. “You are not the problem, brother. The prioress loathes having me leave the grounds—for good reason, I suppose. No matter.”

“Yes, matter,” he says. He is fighting to keep his breath even. “You’re supposed to be able to-“

“Not the reason I’m here,” she sings.

“Fine,” he says. “Fine. Why are you here, Regine?”

“Haven’t you heard, dear brother?” she asks. “My sisters are a-buzz with the rumors, and you must know how difficult it is to get them to gossip—which means the entire kingdom must be talking it. Apparently, our very own honorable, practical, darling Prince Dominic is in-“

“I am not in love!” he snaps.

Regine pauses, her jaw slackening. Then a truly evil grin spreads across her mouth. “I was going to say,” she says, “in search for a mystery girl. But that works, too.”

Prince Dominic’s cheeks burn. “I am not in love,” he enunciates carefully, though he knows it’s hopeless. As far as Regine is concerned, he has already dug his grave. “And I am not looking for her.”

“Why not?” she asks airily.

He splutters. “Why not?” he repeats. “Why not?”

When it comes to duty, they have always been so many worlds apart.

“You still haven’t grown out of babbling when you’re confused, hm?”

“Because I am required to marry a princess!” he yells. He stands up, papers forgotten, even breathing be damned. “Because I am the de facto ruler of this kingdom and whether I like it or not, whether I want to or not, every aspect of my life must be devoted to ensuring its security! Because I am the only one left,” he says, and his voice breaks, “and if I don’t do it, no one else will.”

Then he sobs outright, a hand covering his eyes.

_ _ _

The first and last time he’d spoken this truth that he had long buried in his heart was the night of the ball.

He hadn’t meant to unbridle his tongue. It hadn’t been his parents’ fault that they’d died, after all, and his sister—well, it was hard on her, turning from the blithe heir to the burdened head of the family overnight. It had been understandable, that she hadn’t wanted to face it. He had been the one who had chosen to act. He had taken the responsibility, and so consequently had to face it forever alone.

So why did he find himself spilling his guts to this beautiful stranger?

It was unseemly. It was embarrassing.

But she was so very easy to talk to; and when he began to apologize for his impropriety, she stoppered his flow of words with a gaze full of understanding. “I know what it’s like,” she said, “to be the one left behind and alone.” Her eyes lowered, her cheeks pink. “To be angry about it, sometimes.”

They were out on the balcony—far from the prying eyes and ears of the court, though he knew there would be whispers once they noticed his absence. For once, he hadn’t a care about that. Just as he hadn’t a care or thought about anything when he took the lady’s hand. “Not alone anymore, I hope.”

“Not right now, at least.” She twined their fingers together.

“Not ever again!” he declared recklessly, though he knew he wasn’t in any position to make promises like that. “Tell me about yourself now, lady stranger. We’ve spent so long in each other’s company and you’ve refused to tell me a thing. Though to be fair, I suppose I’ve barely asked.” He shook his head at himself. “What kind of prince am I?”

He’d expected a bump of his shoulder, a roll of her eyes. Instead, the lady’s smile faded. “Prince?”

“Yes?”

“You’re the prince?”

“Yes, of course—you didn’t know?” She had arrived late and had missed the proclamation, and they had dispensed with calling each other by any name as a game, but he hadn’t believed she didn’t know who he was that entire time. Hadn’t known she was getting to know him as Dominic, rather than the prince. He was flabbergasted.

And she looked devastated. She pulled her hand away from his. “If you were just a noble, maybe,” she murmured to herself. “But a prince…”

“What’s the matter?” he asked.

She forced a smile on her face. “Nothing, Your Majesty.”

“Don’t give me that,” he begged her. “Something’s wrong. Please tell me what’s wrong.”

“I-I just…I had hoped to see you again.”

“Whyever not?” He made to take her hand once more, but restrained himself at the last second. “I would very much like that as well.”

“I don’t think you would, Your Majesty. Not if you knew who I really was.”

“I know who you are.” In the weeks to come, he would doubt this; he’d put it down to his chronic sleep deprivation, the heady night air, enchantment. But in that moment, he felt as close to her as someone he’d known all the days of his life.

“You do?” She sounded afraid.

“Yes. You, my dear lady stranger,” he says, “are the funniest person I’ve ever met.” This, finally, got the fond eyeroll. “Really, you are hilarious. Yet you’re honest enough to tell me when I’m not.”

“It was only the puns,” she protested.

“You are determined,” he continued. “You said you would finish the platter of stuffed pan de sal and by God, I have never seen anyone eat so much so fast. That’s a compliment, by the way,” he said to her reddening cheeks. “It was a marvel.”

“You had it right the first time, Your Majesty. For a prince, your manners are deplorable.”

“You’re also extremely kind,” he added.

“Deplorable!” she exclaimed.

“Really.” He stretched out his hand, giving her the choice, and after a beat she laced her fingers with his again. “When you see someone requires assistance, no matter who they are, whether or not they themselves know it, you take action. Even when you clearly need help yourself.”

“I don’t-“

“You have not told me much of your family, my lady, but from what I’ve gathered you are in a rather unhappy situation. Please,” he said, “let me help you. I promise to stand by you no matter what happens, wherever you come from, whatever your name is. Just say the word.”

The lady seemed torn. In the bright, pale moonlight, away from the glitter and ornaments of the ballroom, her masterpiece of a dress seemed to be just a shade more quotidian, her elfin features less otherworldly and more tremendously human as she bit her lip and decided. It made him fall for her all the more. “I,” she said, and stopped herself. She cleared her throat. “My name is…I mean. I-I’m-“

“It’s alright,” he said gently.

She squeezed his hand, as if asking for courage. He squeezed back. “My name is-“

Then the clock struck midnight.

_ _ _

“She’s a commoner, isn’t she?” Regine asks.

For a moment, Prince Dominic did not answer, lost for a time in the way his sister stroked his hair soothingly. She had strode across the room and insisted he sit down on the plush coach, and then laid his head on her lap, just as she did when the doctors gave them the news that their parents died of the plague. When he finally found his voice, he says dully, “Yes.”

It is the logical conclusion. Why had it been such a miracle for her to go to a party? Why did she need a member of the fae to magic her improbable glass shoes, and perhaps the rest of her lovely attire?

Why was she so afraid to let him know who she was?

It would take another miracle to see her again, let alone to offer her what he wished. “So why am I still hoping?” he whispers. Then he cursed himself, realizing that he spoke out loud.

But Regine did not tease. She gave a soft, almost resigned sigh. “Because, dear brother,” she says, “you are a person who loves deeply and truly. You are that, as well as a good and kind king.”

He snorts.

“It’s true,” she says, rueful. “You’re a much better ruler than I ever could have been. You knew from the start that being a leader was more burden than privilege, and I—I never completely grasped that. Not until I was called by God and realized how selfish I’d been.” She ruffled his hair again. “You were right to stage that coup against me.”

“Sister,” he says, but she shakes her head.

“But even if I was selfish,” she says, her eyes bright, “I still know enough about statecraft to comprehend the state of our kingdom, both when I ruled and even more so after the stability you brought to the Islands. And what I know is that we are not in peril.” She looks at him. “You do not need to give your hand out of desperation, brother.”

“But Spain is still watching us-“

“They will always be watching us,” she says disdainfully. “Their precious former colony that rose up against them, foolish and still in need of their oh-so-enlightened help and guidance. Whatever we do, they will always be looking for a chance to snatch us up again.”

“So what do we do?” he asks. His voice sounds small.

“I don’t know,” she admits. “And, selfishly, I am glad that burden is no longer on my shoulders.”

“Thanks, Regine,” he mutters.

She flicks his nose.

“Huy!”

“I have not abandoned you,” she says. “I will not abandon you. I am here beside you, Dominic, and from now on I promise to give you whatever advice you need.”

“And what advice is that, dear sister?”

“That you remember we cannot, as a nation or as people, live on fear alone. And that you must remember you are a leader as well as a ruler, Dom. Your kingdom is watching how you make your choice, and will be led by how you make it.”

“What choice?”

“What to do,” she says, “when love beckons you.”

_ _ _

He goes with them, of course. It would have been out of the question to get a significant portion of the guard to go through this wild goose chase without him at the helm, albeit in plain soldier’s clothes so as to obscure his identity. To begin with, they were to fit the glass slipper to every maiden within each invited household.

He felt like sinking into the floor when he made this proposal in the council room, even with his sister by his side. And indeed, they had all looked at him as if he’d gone mad.

None of them protested, though. Even when he told them of his intentions.

Some of them even looked—excited. As if they were genuinely thrilled their future queen was going to be chosen in this way.

“It’s because they trust you,” Regine said after the meeting. “And they want you to be happy.”

“If you say so,” he said, still bemused.

And so they went.

Household after household, family after family, maiden after maiden until Dominic had seen more than enough he had ever wanted to encounter in his lifetime.

Then they get to the city outskirts.

The two young ladies residing in the last mansion before the gates try and fail. Their mother, of grand bearing and clad in even grander skirts, glares at them as if it is their fault. He and the company of guard bow, take their leave, when—

“Wait.”

Prince Dominic turns.

And there she is. Clad in dirty old rags, hair in disarray, fists clenched and bare feet looking half-ready to bolt any minute. But her voice is steady, calm and familiar, when she says, “I would like to try the slipper on.”

The lady of the house hisses, “You are nothing but a scullery maid! What right do you-“

“Every right,” Prince Dominic says, stepping forward. “The prince proclaimed every maiden in each invited household.”

When he turns his gaze at the lady, she has paled. She recognizes him, too.

She glances at the door. He swallows at the lump of his throat, knowing that if she runs, he must take the rejection for what it is.

But she does not run. Instead, she gives him a short, polite curtsy, walks forward, and seats herself delicately on the coach. She is taking long, calming breaths.

He kneels down. “It’s alright,” he tells her again, even more gently than before.

“It’s you,” she whispers. Her eyes are bright with tears.

He smiles at her. “What’s your name?”

Her mouth twists a little. “Cinderella.”

He notices the spray of ashes on her cheeks. Remembers how she never did like puns.

“My stepmother was right,” she says in a sudden rush. “I am nothing but a scullery maid—worse than that, really. I have no status in life, no claim to anything or anyone. I have nothing worthwhile to offer you.”

“Alright,” he says.

“Alright?” she repeats with an incredulous laugh. She lowers her voice. “You are known to be a wise ruler, you know. They say you never make a decision without considering it twice, thrice, and once more for good measure.”

“I don’t think I’m as hesitant as that,” Dominic protests lightly. “But yes. I do like being sure of my choices.”

“Then why, my dear, famously pragmatic Prince Dominic, are you here?”

He slides the slipper onto her foot. It’s a perfect fit.

“Cinderella.” He says her name with so much soft reverence she cannot help but blush. He offers her his hand. “I think you know.”

/ / /

A/N: Written for the @inklings-challenge's Four Loves Fairytale Challenge! I'd love to know what you think of the story, if you have time to comment/tag. Either way, I hope you enjoyed, and I look forward to reading everyone's entries!

Also: Because I didn't outright say it in the story (and because it's very important to me), this story is set in an alternate history/fantasy Philippines <3

[katierosefun]

quick writing q! how do you plot out your stories? i noticed whenever you post something new, you already know exactly how many chapters there will be and the length, and that's a level of planning i never seem to be able to accomplis

thanks for the ask, anon!! i’m more than happy to explain!

so when i have a longform fic, i usually have a general idea of where i want the story to go. i don’t have all the parts planned out, but i usually have at least two components of the story in mind first--for me, i often seem to know where i want the story to begin, and i know what i want the middle of the story to be, but the ending is always a little trickier for me to find out (and sometimes i wind up going off the rails and changing the ending completely because i’ll realize in the middle of writing the fic that another ending would actually be more fitting). 

once i at least have those components figured out, i’ll sit down and start outlining. depending on the story i want to write, i’ll have a rough approximation of how many chapters i want. (for instance, i knew that i wanted to these memories to have 20+ chapters, and i wanted ever in our favor to be fairly short, maybe 10 or so chapters. another thing i kind of think about (although this is really not at all required), is just word count for most genres? so like, most romance novels are anywhere between 50k to 90k words, and even though fanfiction is incredible because there are no word count limits, i see those parameters as somewhat useful in terms of pacing! again, this is totally not required at all, and this is honestly a personal preference more than anything, mostly because i tend to struggle with pacing asfsd)

i tend to almost always write about 3k/3.5k words per chapter though (that’s the length that i’m personally most comfortable with in terms of brainpower, although really, word count per chapter is entirely up to the writer!), so i keep that in mind when i’m outlining--i usually ask, “okay, how many major scenes can i cover in this word count?” 

but for the most part, that’s how i outline! i just go chapter through chapter with a rough summary of the scenes that i want. (ie. my notes for most ardently chapter 1 goes something like, “anakin and ahsoka talk obi-wan into taking a holiday. palpatine, anakin’s guardian, comes along. anakin meets padme, and anakin talks to obi-wan about satine, *cue the famous p & p line*. obi-wan doesn’t notice satine getting up.”)  

once i go through the chapters, it also becomes a lot easier for me to see where the rest of the story is going, and then i’ll have a whole outline in front of me of every single scene i want per chapter--from chapter 1 to the very last chapter. 

so uhh,,,,tl; dr: outlines are your best friend!!! 

i hope that helped!! <3

[nerdieforpedro]

Heyy Nerdie <3

So since I'm relatively new with writing, I wonder how other writers manage their docs, like what tool is good for writing stories with multiple chapters. And I know everybody will have a different answer and solution for their writing process but I was just wondering if you had any tips for a newbie like me (I'm writing in my notes but that doesn't works so great, also no word count etc.)

Thank you in advance!

I appreciate you ❤️

Ooh! I'm excited1 A writing question! I feel honored that you're asking me. Full disclosure: I'm not the most organized person, even with my fanfic. I am trying to improve though.

I have found for all my fics, no matter if they're one shots or chapter series, I write them in Google Drive. The only reason I don't use Word or my notes app is because I find it easier to edit on my phone when I'm out and about having ideas randomly. (Always happens in places that aren't great to write in which is why I try and stay ready. Only works 50% of the time because of driving. 😭) I also tend to keep each fic even with all their chapters or parts in one very long document instead of a separate document for each chapter. That's just so I will be less confused. I get confused easily. 😳

Many writers use Google Drive so if you're brave enough to ask, you can usually send them what you have to review and they can either just look or comment on different parts depending on permissions you give them. To give your fic a good once over, you can pop it into Word for grammar and spelling corrections. Google docs does do that as well, but sometimes it misses things that Word catches. It's weird.

For on the go notes about vibes or random ideas, I feel your notes app should be good for that and also outlines if you want to plan out chapters or your one shot before writing it out. That way if you have it on your phone in your notes app, you can type in Word or Google while looking back at your bullet points to keep the story flow going.

Also if you like music, I highly recommend a writing playlist. It can be just your favorite songs, set to the mood of what you're writing, instrumental, anything that will help you focus and get your story out. it also could help inspire things (there's numerous fanfics written from songs - hundreds).

Maybe yourself a comfy space, enjoy a nice beverage (I like tea, hot chocolate or coffee if it's in the morning and a snack while writing) and remember it's supposed to be fun.

Sure frustrating sometimes especially when it seems like you have no ideas or the idea isn't coming out quite like you wanted. Take a break, might be hours, days or months, however long you feel you may need for it not to see like a chore. Writing, drawing and crating in general should be fun - in can require focus and work, but should still be enjoyable.

Try out some prompts, challenges or toss some ideas out to friends or people if you feel your creativity is lacking to you just want some different perspectives. We're all different, have histories that make us who we are so there can be as many ways to write a fic as starts in the sky. No one has thought of all of them, many reuse tropes (myself included) because they're fun and provide a template to work from and all sorts of themes can be explored. If you like to edit graphics and/or create moodboards, that can be a good way to distract yourself from writing while also focusing on a different aspect of your fic - visuals. It could help spark something too.

I truly hope I answered your question and didn't ramble too hard. Like this is... 8/10 rambling. 😆

[love-takes-work]

Virtual Program: Happily Ever After Hours with Directors and Producers Rebecca Sugar and Ian Jones-Quartey

I attended this virtual event and am now sharing a summary! I got a ticket!

Rebecca Sugar and Ian Jones-Quartey were invited to appear on the Disney Happily Ever After Hours program for a Pride focus. This was run with Tracie Timmer, Bri Bertolaccini, and Maya Colbert. 

Please read more below to learn about Rebecca and Ian answering questions regarding fighting for LGBTQIA content in kids’ media, inspiration in their young lives, advice for queer creators, the story behind the antiracist PSAs, music and storytelling evolution from their early comics days through Adventure Time and building Steven Universe and OK K.O.!, and all kinds of other tidbits, with a Q&A at the end. This is an important one for all of us LGBTQIA artists and fans. 

You can only watch the interview on the WDFMuseum Facebook and YouTube channel the next day after this was posted for the next 48 hours, unless you want to become a member and have full access.

The virtual program begins: Bri Bertolaccini, while switching up pronouns between they and she, introduces Rebecca Sugar along with accomplishment lists, and introduces Ian Jones-Quartey with he/him pronouns and his list of accomplishments.

The first question is about what did they relate to in animation that brought them into the industry: Rebecca related to nerdy kids like Dib (Invader Zim), Lisa Simpson (The Simpsons), and Jack Skellington (The Nightmare Before Christmas) because of being a Jewish kid who wanted to understand Christmas but never got to have it for themself. They liked Utena because they related to being bi and nonbinary (Utena has relationships with guys and girls, and wears the boys’ school uniform)--and of course Usopp from One Piece. 

Rebecca was attracted to all characters and no characters at the same time, and loved scrappy underdogs. Ian felt that you HAVE to identify with characters onscreen because they aren't human. He also loves scrappy underdogs--Usopp, Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck (Looney Tunes)--and he loves the idea of turning things around on people when you don't have the upper hand. As the son of immigrants, he related to Goku (Dragon Ball) because he was "divorced from his home planet." He found it easy to relate to things he saw on animation. He was the Ninja Turtles! But he was Dennis the Menace! It was all about flexibility.

Bri brings up that both Rebecca and Ian worked on Adventure Time and asks how that brought them both into where they are now. Rebecca talks about indie comics, and giving a comic to Phil Rynda, who got Rebecca a test on Adventure Time. They had to take an outline and board it out, and hadn't even known this kind of boarder position even existed anymore. Rebecca got a job as a revisionist, then got promoted to boarder. 

Ian was working on Venture Bros. and Rebecca had already moved out to do Adventure Time. Ian did a test for Regular Show and Adventure Time during a lull for Venture Bros. Ian didn't feel he was a good fit for writing on Adventure Time--he says he almost thought writing on that show was like poetry!--but he got in as a revisionist because they liked his drawings. He ended up in charge of revisions once Rebecca was already moved on. They never quite worked hand in hand on the show but were always crossing paths. They discussed the “Lady & Peebles” episode and all the great revisions and special poses that happened--one of Ian's favorite episodes. Rebecca says they'd worked together on personal work and outside work so it was cool to get to play to each other's strengths at work too.

Rebecca speaks about “It Came From the Nightosphere” being their first board on the show. She originally wrote "bombastic" songs for their idea of having a more musical episode, but they wanted her to make it more of an intimate little song--the Fry Song was what came out of that revision, and Rebecca had to work really hard to get the courage to pitch with singing. Ian and Rebecca practiced on the roof. Bri pointed out hearing "I'm Just Your Problem" on Tiktok all the time, which surprised both of them.

Bri then asked about pitching their shows and asks for the history. Rebecca says Cartoon Network actually came to her to ask about it--she really wanted to have that option to have her own show, but didn't expect it to happen at this time in her career. She and Ian both were asked to pitch a show. She brings up wanting to do work that she wasn't going to get sick of, so of course she chose a show inspired by her brother Steven. The main question she wanted to address was about gendered shows--she wanted to scramble gender in her own show, and try to understand why she had such a bad reaction herself to shows "for girls" as a kid. Her show was designated as a show for 6- to 11-year-old boys, but that was exactly what she liked to watch as a kid (even though she felt weirdly guilty about not liking shows "for girls"). She wanted to make Steven Universe have elements for everyone, so no one would ever feel like the show wasn't for them.

Bri asks why is it important to tell gender expansive/LGBT+ stories in animation. Rebecca says it was always so limited in terms of content for, about, and by queer people. She thinks it was super critical to get animation out there for these kids because bigotry exists against creators and content itself--and it's deliberate, the violence inherent in doing that to viewers during their formative years, it's got a lasting effect. They latched onto "queer coded villains" because that's all there was, and felt that was at least something, even though it was associated with negativity and was hurtful. Ian thinks even though this was in a sci-fi story, it was intended to tell these specific audience members that they existed, as they put themselves into their work. Rebecca brings up how exciting it was to include stuff that's usually a joke but it wasn't framed as a joke. They never felt any affirmation for bi kids in TV shows they liked--only for people who were sort of like her that were attracted to men--and if you saw same-sex attraction or gender-nonconforming behavior in a show it was attached to jokes or villainy. She really wanted to make work that included authentic portrayals of insecurities and struggles that non-cis and non-straight people would feel validated by.

Bri says she can't wait to see the next generation and what they can do after having gotten to have these shows in their childhood. She asks to know how Ian took what he learned on Steven Universe to OK K.O.!. Steven went forward first, and Ian poured his work into that while being told OK K.O.! needed more development. By the time he got to push his show forward, it was very much sharing DNA with Steven. With his show as more of a "hard comedy," it is still a somewhat similar show, with a lot of true specific experiences. Rebecca says Steven had so much of Ian in it, and that his excited-for-adventures persona was very much like K.O., which after Ian left, Steven became "a miserable teenager," which Rebecca jokes was like herself. Ian brings up the the boardwalk in the show and how a little version of OK K.O.! was inside Steven Universe. The whole "thing" about Steven was having two sides, and having visual shortcuts to his magic side and his human side was useful. K.O. also has two sides: wanting to be a hero and dealing with buried trauma. Both shows share that. They helped each other a lot on each other shows, and Rebecca got to write for the ending.

Bri points out that the two have a great work/life relationship. Then she brings up the Antiracist PSAs and wants to know the story on how those got made. Rebecca had finished the show and decided to talk to Estelle about the "empty corporate responses" to racial inequality. Rebecca had some calls with Estelle who "used her star power" to move mountains. They did a $100,000 fundraiser for National Bailout and then continued to work with Chromosphere to do the antiracist PSAs. They wanted to support marginalized artists and they were glad it was well-funded. Bri liked the message and the style of them.

Then they move on to a Q&A.

Tracie asks Ian if any other characters besides Nanefua are based on people he knows. He acknowledges Theodosia Okoh being his grandmother and being the inspiration for Nanefua. He thought of her as his inspiration and his "permission" to do art. The Pizzas were definitely based on his family--Jenny is his cousin (same name!), for instance. But most of the other people were more like archetype mixtures and inspirations from friends they have. Ian says Enid on OK K.O.! is based on Rebecca. They joke that any group of two characters will usually somehow become symbolic of the two of them, most notably Ruby and Sapphire, or even Amethyst and Pearl. 

Enid is also based on a cashier that Ian saw, and he used to work at a supermarket and wanted to invoke the feeling of looking up to an older worker. He remembered a deadpan cashier not responding so well to a bag boy trying to flirt with her, with an exchange like "How are you today?" "Well I'm HERE, so." Mr. Gar was actually based off of a vice principal he had in high school. One was named Mr. Sandoval, and he remembers watching the yard from the school during science class. He saw two kids trying to cut school and this vice principal ran across the yard to tackle the kids and stop them from cutting class. He figured oh, that's what a real authority figure is like. The science class really had a reaction. You didn't want to have to be under that guy's thumb, but at the same time, that was cool. You just have these moments--you can turn them into characters.

Next question: What would you consider your biggest accomplishment and what are you most proud of?

For Ian, it's tough to say because he reveres getting to work with people he respects and enjoys working with; it's way better for him than winning awards. It's "a continuum of great things and great people." He looks forward to more creative collaboration. 

As for Rebecca, they're proud of breaking down the barriers for LGBTQIA media. Internally, building up to the wedding on "Reunited"--and they were pitching for a full year before they got it through--seeing how the landscape transformed because of that pushing, how wonderful it was that the bigoted notes weren't going to be given to creators anymore. She sees the changes already, even in other studios, and she's really proud of the part they played. Ian acknowledges that even though there are some broken boundaries, the fight is far from over. Creators still have to deal with challenges and push back. Rebecca says a lot of gathering of resources and support had to be done under the radar early on on Steven, but now it's easier to coordinate with other people who are trying to do this in media currently. She's part of the GLAAD Kids and Family media group and can share strategies. She feels healthier now because it's not like it was where they couldn't even talk about it. She hopes the healthiness is brought to the audience as well.

Next question: What advice would you give to queer creators who are seeking to tell queer stories in TV animation?

Rebecca: DO IT! RIGHT NOW! Also take care of yourself. Persevere, push, don't take no for an answer--but it is emotionally exhausting. So take your time and put your mental health above other things. There's a lot of pressure to think about the kids who need this content, what it could do to open doors in the industry, but don't do it at your own expense. You deserve to be healthy. Hopefully this is less true for younger people, but Rebecca felt she did not have that right as a child--to be healthy, to belong. You may feel the audience you're helping is more important than you, but that voice is part of the problem. And if you're okay from that point, push for the biggest, funniest, hugely entertaining content that no one could say no to. 

And Ian thinks confidence is really important in pitching and pushing. Just do it, create characters, don't save it for when you have a project--make it. He also stresses forgiving yourself for not getting it right immediately. Messiness is necessary, accidents are necessary. Rebecca feels that independent comics inspired many of those skills for her. Ian points out that they were both making free comics on their own to tell stories somehow to reflect what they loved. Rebecca says they both just get to a point where they'd think a story in their main work is actually just something they did already in Pug Davis or with Hero (RPG World)--themes keep coming back, through lines will recur. Rebecca recommends quantity--make stuff and see what works.

Next question: Rebecca, on a podcast you once said you had a safe pitch that you could have offered instead of going with SU--what was that other supposedly more marketable show?

Rebecca doesn't remember saying it, though they acknowledge Steven was pitched intentionally with marketability in mind. Ian remembers having a separate space-related show pitch as well as OK K.O.!, but he felt that he wasn't vibing with it while trying to pitch it. They both ended up cramming personal ideas into the show they did get.

Next question: Advice for those trying to work in visual development?

Rebecca thinks it helps just having a lot of personal work. The successful VisDev people Rebecca knows have lots of personal paintings with variety. Build up your portfolio, but don't make it to cater to who you're showing it to. Make art that's what you want to do. It helps to develop your voice so people will seek you out and want you to do your thing in their project. In further discussion, Rebecca says she loves being able to acknowledge different artists having their choices that they love which you can see in multiple pieces. That way you don't say art is good or bad, it's that you agree with choices or don't, and it turns into a conversation almost. Ian thinks that once you understand art as a series of choices, you'll feel less like you love or hate a whole piece of art. You'll also develop a deeper appreciation of someone you love. You might even be able to track the chain of inspiration through various art pieces, including music. You can hear threads in them. Rebecca recommends this approach because that way you can be inspired by someone and reframe it in your own work rather than copying the lines and colors, so to speak.

Next question: Can they discuss the barriers in more detail for LGBTQ issues, and how they navigated the barriers?

Rebecca feels like it really started when they wrote "What Was Missing" on Adventure Time--acknowledging earlier references to a relationship between Bubblegum and Marceline, she talked to Adam Muto about how cool it would be if these two queer ladies used to have a relationship. Rebecca had a hard time writing music about them if the relationship was over, so she wanted to include "juice" and have some beef between them that Marceline wasn’t over. 

It seemed to Rebecca like after the episode was finished, everyone was supporting it, and they felt like Rebecca had figured Marceline out. She had thought there must be something deep inside Marceline that she's covering up with her coolness. But once the episode came out, "a hammer came down" from VERY high, with reprimands and commentary like "don't you understand you work for a company?"--how could they do something so subversive. It was so not allowed to even imply they'd had a relationship. 

Rebecca felt that she had made this character very much like herself, being a bi character, and she knew people online recognized it, but it was getting stomped on. She speaks a little on how she didn’t know at the time that you could still be bi regardless of what your relationship is, and loved that people could tell Marceline was bi. So when she got her own show Rebecca really wanted to keep pushing and wanted to have queer people in a relationship while it's still going on, not already over. 

Fusion as a vehicle to let this relationship happen was very strategic, and they set it up so you couldn't take this out of the show. You already know Garnet, you love her, and then you find out something that explains her and it would be too late to yank this element out of the show. But the same thing happened when the episode was being criticized--higher-ups asked Ruby to be changed to a boy, they said she couldn't be in a relationship with Sapphire, and Ian got reprimanded for confirming their terminology and relationship on Twitter, etc. 

But they could all see that this was important to the audience. They had been validated and knew they were doing the right thing. They had done it for the right people. 

Rebecca mentions how kids, very young people, got what she was doing, even though adults were the ones screaming about it and thinking they had to be protected. Kids had no problem with it. So the younger people's support really made her optimistic and kept her motivated to keep doing it. She didn't want the kids supporting this content to become these adults. 

Ian says Rebecca's work had direct impact. The wedding episode changed everything in Ian's opinion--he had his bi character Enid not be allowed to go on a date early on, but post-"Reunited," the notes they used to get weren't happening anymore. They still had to fight for queer content and got commentary on it, but "Reunited" was a huge example they could point to as acceptable content. You can show queer relationships on TV and the world won't end. Apparently on Clarence, Jeff's moms were not allowed to be called moms before that. They told Rebecca, "If you get a gay wedding, everyone's gonna want a gay wedding." And she said, "great!" Once they were allowed to do it, they couldn't say no. Though . . . well, they do. They still say no.

Which is why coordination is so important, continuing to fight. When they first showed "Jailbreak," same-sex marriage wasn't legal, and when the show started Don't Ask Don't Tell was still a policy. It wasn't until after they left Cartoon Network that LGBTQIA protections were even in existence nationwide. There was actually no GLAAD group for kids and family until after Steven Universe existed. That pushed Rebecca to work harder to get messages out to counter the idea that LGBTQIA content is inherently adult.

At this point, the event is out of time, so the hosts wrap up and thank Ian and Rebecca for being part of this. The end!

[foxymoxynoona]

foxy i have a very serious questions … how can you possibly keep your laptop organized with the million & one stories you’re writing/have written/just randomly occurred to you!! I have so much less than you on my laptop but I’m still constantly losing documents so I can’t imagine how you do it 😭

Ok this is SUPER NERDY but here you go:

So many nested folders!! I have this on google drive and mirrored on my laptop and an external harddrive; I mostly work in google docs but every few weeks do a manual backup of everything onto my laptop and an external harddrive.

Ok let me see how to illustrate this in a way that won't be confusing. There are definitely other ways I could configure this (I'm even thinking things as I type this up haha) but this current set up is what lets me jump around most easily between the files I am actively writing, editing, and posting from, usually multiple different stories on any given day. I have to strike the balance between very organized and not having too many annoying click throughs.

World/Theme/Type of writing (that A Catch All Writing is my BTS writing) are the top level folders. Like this:

All the writing I don't post yet or abandoned or just never got far on is here, either as individual files or as its own folder if there's an obvious grouping (hybrid stories, for instance, or a single folder for multi-chapter stories). I probably should go through here and organize things better but since this is all abandoned stuff, I don't spend much time here. The important folder is that Posting folder ('A Catch All Writing' is my BTS folder):

The Posting folder is where all the stories I am actively writing and/or posting live. It looks like this right now:

The DONE folder has all my long stories that are completed UNLESS they are part of an ongoing series (Birdtan, Sasha, Lowlander) and then they live in their own nested folder under the series folder so I can share reference files and easily access if I need to look something up. My DONE folder:

compared to Birdtan folder with a done story in it:

You'll notice most of the short stories I've posted aren't there though. All the short stories I write live in that Short Stories folder higher up--they get moved to a subfolder within there once they are posted/done so they're only one click away. If they turn into a multi-chapter story or need additional notes/inspiration/whatever docs, I pull them out to the higher level so they can have their own folder (like Tell Me What Changed.)

There's defintiely some messines with what's in the Short Stories folder and what's in that further back high level "everything" folder --both have docs where I throw down notes or outlines or start ideas. I try to keep the Short Stories folder focused on things I am actively or in the near term writing but files do get moved between those a lot as my inspiration changes.

Short stories also have their own DONE folder so it's quick and easy to drag things into there, and because sometimes the posting doc (+ a pdf version for patreon) are just a portion of another file, like with amended shorts, sugar fairy shorts, etc.

Within any story I'm writing, I organize its folder pretty much the same way too:

An outline file

Reference docs, photos, spreadsheets --characters, timelines, dates, etc.

raw Writing files

and Editing/Posting files I copy and paste the content from the Writing file into the Posting file and that's where I edit and format. This way I still have stuff that gets cut during editing, so I can always go back if I change my mind later or feel like I messed something up during editing or I just want to reuse stuff from the cutting room floor for a different story.

I keep about 100 pages of writing per file. I've learned previously that the docs start to chug once they get over 1000 pages, and this also makes it a little big easier for me to jump around and find things if need be. I used to include a key reference in the title to make it easier to "find myself" in time in the story if I'm looking for a particular event. I haven't been doing this lately but I should, it's really useful. Example:

The Z in the title is just so it got moved to the bottom of the file folder, so visually everythign I'm actively working on is at the top and the things I'm "done" with are at the bottom. That's really only important to me in stories like the Sasha stuff where there are literally over a hundred docs.

Let's see what else... for brainstorming, I have a single excel sheet I dump ideas into unless I have enough to start putting together a few paragraphs or an outline, and then it gets promoted to its own word doc.

And then for archiving old stuff, I sort by year of the last time I worked on something. So say I decide I'm all done writing BTS stories, I'd just drag the whole folder into a 2022 folder into my Writing Archive folder, for the last year I worked on things in that space. That helps me find things later, if I'm like oooh what about that idea I was working on in high school...

This is what's in my google drive, but most of my archived stuff isn't there, it's on my laptop and my harddrive. They have files going back to the last century 😁

Unfortunately I've lost a lot of my oldest stuff, largely because technology and data systems have changed so much since I started writing by hand in journals. I'm stil in the process of typing up old things from journals, and unfortuantely not everythign survived my floppy discs (YEAH THAT WAS TECHNOLOGY BACK THEN).

So this is my system! :) Sorry I nerded out, it was actually really fun to take stock of it. I'm in these files literally every day, so organization is really important! Now I'm going to go do some reorganizing looool.

[writtenbyevie]

Hihi I’m nosy!! For the fic writer questions thing you reblogged: number 4 (about earth and moon), number 10, number 17, and number 27!!

Feel free to ignore any if you want to, I’m just very curious hehe big love you!!

jules!!! big love back to you and i’m booping your nose!! 💖💖💖

4.

For the little details in earth and moon, my favorite is that Atsumu’s introduced in a mini chapter titled apollo (since he’s the sun to Osamu’s moon) and Kiyoomi is later described as having hyacinth curls.

In Greek mythology, Hyacinth and Apollo are lovers. So, that’s a little inside joke for me :)

Other little details include:

Rin comes home late in the final mini chapter because he got lost in the grocery store just like Osamu dreamed about. They then talk about hanging jerseys on his wall and slow dance to the song stuck in his head just like they fantasized about

Rui wears Star Wars pajamas when we first meet her. When she meets Motoya he is too

Osamu is constantly compared to the moon, “borrowing light and regifting it without the burn,” only to receive a bad burn at work

The (b)romance between Sato and Underwood

The first mini chapter in earth and moon is called afternoon eclipse (rin finds a moon at midday) the first chapter in sakuatsu’s story is called midnight dawn (because kiyoomi finds the sun in the middle of the night)

There are a ton more but those are the ones I thought of off the top of my head :)

10.

So I tend to create stories by taking a series of related images, lines, and ideas that I’ve had in my head and seeing what connects them. From there, I’ll take I’ll take those major concepts and try to fill in the gaps to create a story that I feel best expresses them if that makes sense? So I’ll draft out a basic outline, with room for revision, as well as select some major motifs and themes and go from there.

With earth and moon, I had several monologues and descriptions I had written at random that I felt fit sunaosa, as well as a series of images/scenes in my head. I took these things and combined them with my desire to write a sunaosa story that not only explored their relationship but it’s impact on their senses of self from when they met all the way through adulthood. I also thought about what I felt was missing from the existing canon (pun semi intended) of sunaosa stories and sought out to put it in my fic!

17.

So iwaoi will always be my first and forever loves. I have an idea for an AU that involves exploring oikawa’s origins as the demon king (there’s a twist I want to spoil but won’t unless I ever do write this), as well iwaizumi’s history as holy knight (in this universe he’d be a nephilium). It also involves shiratorizawa as demon hunters. I’ve always wanted to write it and daydream about it a lot. I love biblical imagery and metaphor so maybe one day!

27.

I don’t super know how to describe my writing process other than that I write almost every day. I don’t necessarily write A LOT every day (a good deal of the time I get caught up editing), but I try to sit in front of my computer at least once a day.

I have two notes on my phone. One for lyrics (I just started writing music!) and one for lines (both for scripts and fics). I try to write down ideas as they come to me. Sometimes they’re fully fleshed out. Other times they’re a vague idea of something and I’ll put in parentheses (develop this later)

I’m also someone who likes to write long form, so I’ll dump all of my ideas for one (mini) chapter and then go back and tighten it up later. I have a second doc for all my fics where I put all the lines I cut in case I want to use them for something later.

I’m also a fan of writing out all of the dialogue for a scene and then going back and adding action and description, just because I can over write both of those if I do them as I go. I love to wax poetic like the nerdy little lass I am, but ya gotta keep it in check.

I like writing to ambient sounds? Sometimes I write to music but I like using atmosphere instrumental music to set the vibes for whatever piece I’m writing.

I tend to write chronologically too. I really struggle to leave a section unfinished and move onto the next. So I’ll just stare at same paragraph for four hours until I get it Right™️.

The only other thing I can think of is that I like to write very rhythmically/musically. I tend to accidentally rhyme a lot. I find the pace of a piece very important and I feel like I have a fairly distinct style that relies on that. That and imagery. I love imagery and metaphor. I thoroughly enjoy creating visual throughlines, like in earth and moon I used different silver/gray imagery to represent Osamu and how Rin sees him. The gray, the storm, the moon. All introduced in the first chapter and used throughout.

anywho, that’s a bit of looksie into how I write! I hope that makes sense?

also thank you for all the queries jules I adore you and am kissing your forehead 💖